1575 - Run Report by (No Name) Shane
3-Aug-12 Singapore National Day Run
Hares: Mad Chinaman, Strapless, Peking Ong, Quickie, Chicken Shit & Not Big Enough
Site: Cactus Road
Finding the run site start was easy
and painless. We were quickly gathered, and with no virgins present, we headed
out for a quick run.
As soon as the Hash Horde reached the Yio Chu Kang Road which was only 100 meters away we started the standard crossing like a bad game of Frogger. With no one pretending to be a hood ordainment we headed down along a steep canal going through some ankle deep, black, stinky, stagnate water (will come back to it later). After a short jog it started leading us through the forest. We soon came to a "circle check". Now from my understanding of circle checks is that the trail should be ~150 meters in any direction. I think the Hares were having a hard
time making a "T" because twice on the run we ran into a "circle check" and the trail was ~149 meters in the opposite direction of where we were running, as it was in this case. So after a short breather and someone with better eyes than the FRB's finding the trail we proceeded
back into the jungle.
Once inside this bit of jungle we came to a small creek. There appeared to be 2 crossings, downed log staying dry or just cross it getting wet. When I arrived it seemed like everyone was waiting in line to cross on a downed log, trying not to get wet. Now I should remind you that just 10 min. earlier our shoes were already soaked with the stinky water along the drain. A few of us took the wet option and continued through the forest.
We passed some old trash piles, through a spider web of twisted trees, up and down small hills and some open trail running. Pleasant scenery, pleasant jog. Soon we find ourselves at another circle check along a steep bank along another creek and the FRB's had their eyes tuned to the trail and led us to a tunnel.
The tunnel being dark, mysterious, slick and slimy was fun to go through and we had just enough light to see the toilet paper when we were within a few feet. We crawled out and instantly were off on the trail again.
At this point is where Mother Nature said "Your run is going too smoothly" and decided to rain down buckets of water on us. I am glad the Hares used better toilet paper that what we are given in the Navy, because their trail held up long enough for us to find another circle
From this point I will not be able to tell you how the run ends because a large group of us ended up just running up and down the road trying to find the trail. After a few extra miles/kilometers, a small group broke out the iPhone and headed back. Not me, I guess I needed to keep running. It seemed like the old saying the grass is greener on the
other side scenario. We stood on one side of the expressway saying we need to be there, run around until we were there and said....man we need to be on that side. A few more miles/kilometers and a smaller group broke off from us and found their way back.
Me?... I was in the group that decided to go back to the last known point of the trail and wait for the Hares to provide direction/assistance. At this point is where Mother Nature felt pity on us and the rain let up some, not completely but some.
Getting back to the final circle I received a well deserved down-down.
Even though this was my first time getting lost in Singapore on a hash, I still really enjoyed the run.
1575 - Circle Report by Dim Rhee Call
Hares: Singaporeans & Mother Nature
Site: Cactus Road, Seletar Seafood Restaurant
The circle got off to a very late start. We had been waiting for the Grand Master and the Asst. On Sec. to return from the run, but the hashers were getting restless, so the Grand Mistress gathered us up in the form of a sausage under the eave of the building next to the restaurant. It was still raining quite heavily at this point.
Since the hares were not in full strength, the hare whip as deferred til later (don’t think it actually happened.)
Virgins: a group of virgins were brought in and, given the weather; they were publically pissed on, literally.
Mystery Whip: Jackoff (unfortunately since no one was taking notes, and memory is very bad, the actual charge is unknown, however we recall that it was quite clever and amusing.)
Here are a few of the charges that were recalled:
Public Zipp: brought all of the Singaporeans in to celebrate the 1st Olympic medal for Singapore in 52 years which is quite an accomplishment since Singapore itself is only 47 years old? Who’s keeping these records any way?
TBA: Called in Choo Chi Choo and No Good, and staying with the Olympic theme, told us that Choo Chi Coo had come home with three different condoms last week: Gold, Silver & Bronze. Coo Chi Coo told No Good that he felt like an Olympic Champion and wanted to use the Gold one. She told him: No use the Silver one and come second for a change.
Sly Dog (finally arriving at around 8:40 or so by Boo-mobile) charged Cunt See Shit and his two friends. Cunt See Shit had told them that he was leaving for six months, and that this was the last time he’d see them for awhile. But, it turns out that he’s only going to be gone for a month. He gets a down-down for lying to his friends.
Deep Throat: charged Ayam Zinking. He asked her to scratch his ear. According to him she scratched the wrong part. We think there was some lost in translation.
Public Zipp called in Krit (after calling him Chip?) During the run, Krit appeared to be taking his time, and PZ asked: “Are You Coming?” He responded: “I always save my energy for the end.” Here’s to the energy saver…
There were a few other charges that will be lost to posterity, so be it…
Final note: early in the circle the run was given a “good run” – this was before it was realized that there were still quite a few hashers still stranded out in the cold, dark, rainy jungle. On reflection, and principally due to inadequate sweeping by the hares, the run was revised to be a Hash Shit.
On-Back to Weekly Scribe Reports Index.
On-Back to Lion City HHH homepage.