1568 Walk Report by From Behind
Hares: Cherry Picker & Circle Jerk
Site: Bukit Brown Cemetery
We set off from Bukit Brown Chinese Cemetery at 6pm on Friday, 15th June. I was accompanied by Under the Radar and Ayam Kampong and because Ayam had broken her arm a month before she had had problems completing a previous hash which involved scrambling, so, as a result, I'm afraid we didn't follow the designated route but did our own thing. Ayam lead us on a lovely route around part of the MacRitchie reservoir - through forested areas and on a decked walkway running along next to the water. The scenery was stunning, rounded off towards the end by a beautiful sunset, which reflected in the ripples of the water.
1568 Run Report by Herr Zipp (noted short-cutter)
Hares: Cherry Picker & Circle Jerk
Site: Bukit Brown Cemetery
The first T-check came early in the run as we exited the cemetery towards Sime Road past the Exhumation Registration signs conveniently placed there by the Ministry of Eternal Interruption.
Out onto Lornie Road where hashers went off in all directions before finding the trail leading us down Adam Drive. At the end of Adam Drive we followed an abandoned road that eventually took us into some really shiggy bits. The hares should be commended for finding a route that was new to me, and I suspect to many others.
It was in this shiggy that I finally caught up with some other hashers, or more accurately, the bastards passed me in the mud. The identity of these hashers will remain secret (Tommy “Cunt See Shit”, Jack-off and Circle Jerk.) It was here that I also encountered Aye Aye and Saliva in the muck.
Exiting the shiggy, Circle Jerk pointed us in a direction that took us up and over a couple of ridges that parallel the new construction that will be known as Old Graves Highway when completed. Tootling along the ridge I saw Mohan trying to get through a fairly thick bit of vegetation. I asked, “are you?” I got no reply and didn’t see him again for quite a while.
Climbing down from the ridge to the construction site I followed the road to the Lornie Road exit which brought me back to where we had entered Adam Drive a bit earlier, across the overpass to Sime Road and home. Good run.
1568 Circle Report by Herr Zipp
Circle Report June 15st 2012
Sly Dog and Pubic Zipp called the circle at 8:09 (delayed for no good reason.)
Hares: Cherry Picker and Circle Jerk.
Despite the length, it was declared a good run!
On-On at a new place called the Red Lantern – hope the food’s OK.
Next week’s hares: G-String & Machine (obviously wearing an outfit he borrowed from Ripper) – location at a new place called Clean Tech – hope the run’s OK.
Virgins: Harry, Andree & Mohan (who got the best value for his visitor’s fee – about a 2-hour run.) GM asked the virgins a question: What’s the best part of a blow job? Answer: 10 minutes of silence. (Note: the Harriets all laughed at the 10-minute part.) Hmmmm…
Visitors: On-Onnorrhea, Oscar The Crotch, Maggot, Muff Diver, Cunt See Shit (unknown hasher formerly known as Tommy), Carolyn (aka Peep Show) and Hiroko
Returnees: Bird Shit and Too Easy
Hare Whip: Cherry Picker has three quick charges:
1. Cherry Picker was on Adam Road as the lead runners came through: Tiger Lily, then Razor, then Sharon Batu??? How could this be? Here’s to Sharon Batu as an FRB!
2. Boo, the Mad Chinaman, knows Singapore like the back of his hand, so how come he was the only one who couldn’t find the trail? Here’s to the local – still too many gueilos!
3. While on one of the recces, Circle Jerk suggested that they stop at the Adam Road hawker center for a beer. Got any money? I left mine in my bag. Here’s to the moocher!
Hare Whip 2: Circle Jerk
1. (In an obvious grudge charge…) he calls Cherry Picker in. It is noted that Cherry Picker is a very dedicated fellow who did 9 recces for tonight’s run. On one of the recces Circle Jerk noticed something different: Cherry Picker was wearing a pair of shorts that sparkled. It turns out that this particular fashion statement was acquired in Bali. Here’s to the dedicated follower of fashion and his lady-boy shorts!
2. One of our visitors, Mohan, is brought in and asked: How good a friend is your buddy Tommy (Cunt See Shit?) He takes you on your first running hash, you arrive late, have to catch up with the group, he runs off ahead, says he’ll circle back for you…and what happens? You’re left abandoned and have to find your way back…after 2 hours…some friend! Down-down to CSS!
GM: Editor’s note: Up to this point it was not known that Tommy actually has a hash name, Cunt See Shit, which was bestowed on him by the Manila Hash.)
A naming was suggested for Tommy – a suggestion concerning the fact that he has had two collapsed lungs, but nothing deemed suitable was suggested – good thing since he already had a hash name.
Prick Of The Week: TBA has three candidates: Pubic Zipp who propositioned him for a date on Thursday. Peep Show who fell into his arms on the run. And Herr Zipp who is unjustifiable blamed for the Interhash On-Sec’s failure to get the Quad run date correct in the newsletter. Takin’ one for the team, Herr Zipp gets the erect prize.
Grand Mattress calls in Cum Puss as a Dutch representative. This week there was a first at Marina Bay Sands. A Dutchman plunged to his death off the Sky Park. Cum Puss hadn’t heard about it, and wanted to know if by any chance it was Blow Yob. She was disappointed to find out it was a tourist. If it had been Blow Yob, the question would be: did he jump or was he pushed. In any event, our GM noted that during the event he was the “Flying Dutchman” but upon landing he became a “Dutch Impressionist.” Splat!
Mystery Whip: Saliva:
1. On the On-home stretch she saw two hashers waiting anxiously at the traffic light t cross Lornie Road at Sime while the rest of the hash were crossing over the overpass. They waited…and waited…and waited. The culprits, Reciprocunt & Pinball Wizard have fucked-off, so look alikes Slack Arse and Too Easy are called in to take the down down for the impatient ones who after giving up their wait proceed to cross the bridge only to the see the light change as they were halfway across.
2. Our very own Mad Chinaman was caught observing all of the beautiful young things showering, and the only defense he offered was “I have a beautiful body, too, better than Phoney Dick” The two were toasted with a down-down. They have beautiful bodies, and no one is going to hold it against them.
3. We want creative people in Singapore, but a visiting NUS lecturer from the PRC has suggested that Singaporeans should take LSD. A PRC representative, Eleven, is called in to take a down-down. Some of us have a vague recollection of this being done before sometime in the last century and a chorus of Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds was heard (probably has something o do with last week’s event.)
4. There were a couple of charges last week about marriage and divorce. Cock Radio made one (Maggot brought in as a look-a-like) and Stiffy the other. Cock Radio brought in all of the divorcees (about half of the circle), and Stiffy noted the new law in the UK that made it illegal to force a person to marry, a law that excluded Scotland. The point of these charges was to highlight Aye Aye’s marital status and suggest that coercion may have had a part in it. Saliva now wants to clarify that Aye Aye married her because she’s a top earner, but he didn’t anticipate that that after they married, she retired. [Suppose that he now refers to her as his “first” wife.]
Award: GM cited the fact that the Mad Chinaman drove off last week right through the middle of the circle, and thus didn’t get his award last week. This week he stayed, and got his award for 1100 runs (20+ years of hashing with LCH3.) Commendable!
Mystery Mystery Whip: Comes Quietly:
There were quite a few dumb-ass things to comment on: first, there was Jack-off who pointed out a shooting star that turned out to be an airplane, then there was another Harriet who said, “Oh, what a lovely blue moon!” that turned out to be a stop sign, and finally there was the Canadian airline pilot (Astronut as rep.) who, on a long-haul flight, fell asleep only to wake up suddenly and saw what he thought was another plane coming at him. He quickly put his plane into a steep dive, resulting in passengers akimbo. The other plane turned out to be Venus. [Note: the passengers whirling about the cabin ass-over-tea kettle said to each other: “I thought I saw Uranus.”]
Award: Razor was called in for his 100 run shirt [100 since he has returned], but not before he was castigated for the shirt he entered the circle wearing. It is a very brightly colored affair. Whenever asked if there are any rules on the Hash, Razor is quick to respond “No puffters!” So how come he’s wearing a colorful flowery shirt, and he runs in bike shorts to highlight his “package?” Rule violation?
Award: TBA received his commemorative shirt for 100 runs. GM notes that he first met TBA at a Nash Hash in China about 3 years ago, and he was drunk at the time – no change since.
Award: After being described as rambunctious, and full of spunk, Ayam Zinking got his award for 200 runs. Wunderbar, mein Freund!
Ayam Kampong has noted that the substitute Hash Brew, Eleven, has an assistant who sits down to work, Goodie Bag. Perhaps a new committee position – sitting hash brew?
Slocum cites Suzie Wong and Peep Show for conducting their own circle – he invites them to join in.
Announcement: 8:24 makes an announcement about the 4th of July (American Independence Day) run which, of course, is on the 6th of July. There will be t-shirts. The on-on will be at The Terror Club [not the Terrorist Club which due to popular demand has been relocated to Johor.] There will be a BBQ at poolside with free flow (one keg of Tiger & one keg of Heineken) for the all-in price of $20 (what a deal.) The Terror Club has showering facilities, and we will have use the patio area – so there will be some music as well.
Jack-off charges Circle Jerk for lack of compassion and dereliction of hare duty. Jack-off was running along with Cunt See Shit and Mohan. She told Circle Jerk to look after the “virgin”, but no… Circle Jerk went running off with Jack-off leaving the poor guy to fend for himself, and as we know from an earlier charge that it took him about 2 hours to get back. This was the second charge of the night caused by virgin abandonment…it seems to be a trend. [Jack-off and Circle Jerk = two ways to describe the same thing = synonyms?]
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