Hares: Shoe Shopper & Pubic Zipp
Run Report by TBA
Warning to all hashers: Beware!...Beware!...BEWARE!
DO NOT TALK TO SLY DOG before the run as his first words to you will be, “Can you write the run report?”
For almost a year I have avoided said task, but the old sly one evoked his revenge slithered past a couple hashers and hooked me like a fly fisherman catching a trout.
So here it is.
The appointed time was nigh and no sign of the hares Shoe Shopper and Pubic Zipp so our illustrious leader called us together for the off. The pack rather reluctantly headed off towards the AYE to the first check.
This totally confused as there was a circle with a cross and 2 yellow arrows now Shoe Shopper what the Cuck was that?
Then the on on was called and it seemed like we were simply running around the Ghost HDB block which in fact was true but with a little detour.
The run wound its way along the back of Rochester Park, and Coo Chi Coo was heard to say well I have never run over this hill so there is a first for everyone.
The run went along the drain through some jungle (all getting a bit sketchy here) out onto Clementi whatever road, past Dover MRT to another Check which lost Stash and co as they tried guessing it went through NUS, but boys never try to guess what a woman is thinking will always get it wrong.
It looked for a wee while Shoe Shopper was doing an A to B back to her place but NO, back along the drain, into the housing a left into another small drain with Shaggy D2 out in front running completely past the T and so it was back through banging our heads as we went on the low roof.
It was back to North Buona Vista station along the front of Rochester Park, back on NVB through the T check that Pubic Zipp had marked and on home.
Reputedly an 8Km run which all in all was a great effort and thanks to the hares Shoe Shopper and Pubic Zipp for coming to the rescue and haring a fine run well done girls.
Circle Report by Wankie Pooh
Circle report Feb. 17th 2012
Shoe Shopper and Pubic Zipp’s Help-Out at the Last Minute Run
More Hairs than last week…. Where is Pubic Zipp... giving herself a Brazilian???...had that information better be checked?
It was defined a good run, with too much shiggy.
Pack was very thin on the ground – [It was asserted that: with the M**’s Hash having a pre-celebration dinner and piss up – for a fixed fee of $50….. Our money conscious guys felt they had to be there right at the start of the event to get their money’s worth…. And therefore skipped tonight’s LCH3 run!!!]
Circle managed by Deep Throat and TBA
Virgin1 – Vishal – friend of the Zipps
Returnees and Visitors: 4 – Romeo, Corny Linguist, Toad, Mind the Gap, Vibrator
Topless was dragged in for nagging – this is a virgin! – When in fact she (Mind the Gap?) was a visitor from Phuket Hash….
Herr Zipp offered sympathy and empathy as our last week’s Hare – Cunt Dracula struggling with his knee injury – surgery and 3 months recovery ahead… so expect Too Good to be given the chance to play Mahjong…... CD asked the doctor – Will I be able to dance after the operation? Yes! – Great I never could before!
Hare Whip – Shoe Shopper
Pubic Zipp – for declaring she had found a yummy egg salad recipe – put the eggs on- went to check the recipe again on line – got distracted booking a holiday and was alerted to the sounds of explosions coming from the kitchen – was it a terrorist attack? – no… the pan had boiled dry tipped over and was shooting very hard boiled eggs across the room!
Pubic Zipp – Shoe Shopper had lost the trail at some point while laying it this afternoon, so with some quick thinking decided to do part of it in reverse. Shoe Shopper was laying the flour, Pubic Zipp the chalk…. They got back only to find that PZ had periodic (every third arrow) pointed the arrows the wrong way!!! – That was why they had to go back and relay it!
Prick of the Week – no Slack Arse – but TBA brought in Loose Change…. Look at the way she is walking – are you sure you cannot find it???
Mystery Whip – Not Tonight
Couldn’t make the run so was lucky with today’s newspaper….a recent survey looked at sexual satisfaction in different countries…. Need some volunteers…to represent the different countries:
Dominator – Malaysia
Ayam Kampong - Indonesia
Wonton – Singaporean
They were hung with cards representing their country on the back was the % satisfaction…..Singapore at 58% - were considered the flops….
Saliva – heckling from the side lines – said it was because we had higher standards!
To represent the bottom of the list – Herr Zipp wearing an appropriate Japanese shirt – 34%!
Mystery Mystery Whip – Cubic Caveman (Great to see a new face in the circle – well done!)
Pulled in all the Monday Hashers – DIY, Stash, Comes Quietly, Ayam Zinking - who always run on a Monday……..and then all the Kampong Hashers – Comes Quietly and Ayam Kampong who always run on a Saturday…. And wondered why there was a Monday hash tomorrow ???
Shoe Shopper…. We have a variety of friends, some on the hash, some at work, some through social media…. He put a request to befriend her on Facebook, which was rejected…. Who is the random guy??? – didn’t know him by his real name (or with his clothes on?!)…side heckles….
Keeps calling me Trevor!
Keeps calling her husband Tom!
700 runs – Stash…. Get a life, Get a life……
Charity donations this year have been given to the Sun Love Home – for the mentally challenged… we will pay for a lunch for all the residents on the Sunday 18th March = $500 and the surplus will be given as a cash donation to the Home. (For more information about this charity’s accounts www.sunlovehome.org.sg/Financial.php )
The following hashers have donated their pewter money to support this charity effort.
They were called into the circle to receive their Invitation to the 18th March event:
Coo Chi Coo – 1100 runs
Too Good – 900 Runs
Phoney Dick – 700 runs
Running Shit – 500 runs
Saliva – 600 runs
Dim Sum - 500 runs
Wonton – 500 runs
Shoe Shopper – 300 runs
Eleven – 200 runs
Shaggy Dick Too! – 200 runs
….and there are lots more to give out in the next few weeks…Thanks everyone for supporting our chosen charity this year!
Phoney Dick – you were heard to say “About time too!” – Did I understand you correctly? You are volunteering to help with the awards because you can see opportunities to make it better? – That is great! Thanks! Catch you next Friday? ……]
TBA to Cubic Caveman - what kind of Cube is he – sporting a shirt covered in circles?!... Cock Radio has an appropriate shirt – covered in a big lipstick kiss… Circle Jerk… you should be wearing Cubic Caveman’s shirt…..
Shoe Shopper to Wet Patch – usually at events there is a huge queue for the ladies loo and many ladies take a chance to sneak in to the men’s – where there is never a queue…. Until now! Wet Patch was at Heathrow Airport and they had closed the men’s loo – so being desperate, headed to the ladies – in his confusion and dash to get out of this forbidden territory – left his ticket and passport behind….
A girl had handed it in….
Was she blonde?
Did she lock you in? BIMBO!
Cherry Picker to TBA – are you drunk or stupid? – What is wrong with circle jerk’s T-shirt? Nothing – you are wearing it… so is Phoney Dick… all given a down down!
Shaggy Dick Too to TBA… ironic irony…. 2 weeks ago Princess of the Sloth was in the circle with a great series of charges as a mystery whip…. When she is whipping you are the one calling for quiet with loud Hash Hushes! – But now you are in the circle, its bedlam!
Circle Jerk – noticing some fine upstanding members of our community who seem to be going off the rails
8.24 – look-alike Wet Patch and Cherry Picker were running along, found a circle and ran a considerable distance before calling the pack on…. Are they trying to join the FRB’s???
Gob smacked by Saliva – who has helped with the accounts and auditing….. and other big jobs for the hash – yet she is the loudest heckler tonight!
Deep Throat to Sly Dog – at the Kampong Hash she was given a down down and asked to sit on the ice – it is their tradition to call a male runner – he sits on the ice and she then sits on his lap…so she asked 8:24 to be her iceman….. in fact it is rumored some guys go out of their way to get someone to sit on their lap despite the ice!
Picture this - Ice, Sly Dog – No Good on his lap, Ayam Kampong on his shoulders – the man was pinned down and in trouble!! Ayam Kampong was then in trouble – coz she couldn’t climb down…..Messy!
He was finally extricated and because he asks for a large beer for all down downs – was given the extra large glass……while continuing to sit on the ice…
Then Suzie Wong was called in – for disputing that LCH3 could have ice – saying it was against the constitution… which for the record it doesn’t……
Saliva joined in the fray – was it or was it not in the Guidelines only? And what exactly does it say…..?
Herr Zipp – referring to the constitution – said “Ice? There is NO ICE in the constitution”….being too clever for his own good. [Really, the subject is not mentioned!!]
Deep Throat misunderstood him and Sly Dog was called in to add to the fray…..Messy!
With such a small pack, the hares were very grateful for the support of everyone to rally round and eat Mr. Hoe’s Fish and chips, salad and pecan/apple pie…. When many are dieting after the excesses of Chinese New Year – they are good friends indeed!
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