Run

The run was Twin Tower's Birthday run and the run site was at the end of Jalan Kampong Chantek with the on-on at Red Lantern. The run started clock-wise along the Durian Loop and eventually we ended up along a stream where our shoes went wet and sandy. The circle check along the stream confused the pack for quite some time. The trail was eventually found in the other direction of the stream where a slightly intoxicated Twin Towers was strolling. The pack was quite spread out and I was running with Coo Chi Coo. I lost him and did not see him until he arrived back to the run site where he was running up the slope of Jalan Kampong Chantek whereas the one’s that followed the trail returned from the other direction.

I passed G-String close to the second circle check. She was more interested in chatting with other hashers and posing in front of photographers than of running. Later, when I was peacefully running along the trail, Wet Patch started to make strange sounds behind me like a Belcher-wannabe. He apologised, though. For what I am not sure.

The trail went up to Rifle Range Road and then parallel to it down to the PIE and after a circle check the trail continued along the former railway track. The rails and railway sleepers were all gone and were replaced by mud. While forcing myself along the muddy stretch, FRB's like Shut The Fuck Up (ver. 1.0) passed me.

After leaving the old railway track we had a relaxing run through the forest up to the Rifle Range Camp and we followed its fence to Rifle Range Road. When I met the frontrunners as they were back-checking from the circle check further down the road, Cherry Picker and friends came from an unexpected direction. They had short-circuited to a later part of trail but followed it in the wrong direction. Thus, they turned and the rest of us followed. On-on home. When approaching the run site, Sly Dog passed me with a speed like it was some kind of competition.

Hooray was everywhere, apparently sweeping and knowing all short-cuts.

The run was about 5 km and took some 50 min for me. A short, but good run.

DeepThroat & Handbag called the Circle to order and polled the crowd. The run was declared a Good Run despite it being a little short.

Virgins: Jason (once again fucked off before the festivities began!) [Note: if he shows up again, he’s still a virgin, and a slow learner] Angie, Kevin, Greta - The GM made an observation: “Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity!”

Returnees: Pin-up, Hot Lips, Not Big Enough, Little John, Cheeks Out, Molester [Malfunksion and Peking Ong are no longer an absent members, they get their last down-downs as a returnees.]

Visitors: Jack-ff John, Jeez Wow, Wimbo, Eskimo, Dinah, Sweet Thighs, Tors, Hans, Knobby Boy Scout, Shane.

Twin Towers continues a charge that she started last week. Stiffy is called in. She says that last week he told Ya-Yong (?) that buying this T-shirt was a good idea, but what do you think he bought me for my birthday? Pepper Spray! Now that’s a good idea – a “get rid of you” spray for dirty old men like Stiffy.

Twin Towers charges Too Good for downloading all of the sexy pictures on her camera to Facebook.

Before she can leave the circle, Grand Mattress brings Twin Towers back for a birthday song and a cake. All the other Scorpios are invited in to help blow out the candles – surely because they have a special skill.

Prick of the Week – Mr. Potato Head - After an absence of several weeks, the Prick has resurfaced. Who should it go to? Someone who really wants it! She was heard to say: “It’s getting softer and softer, and neither party likes it”, and later the same person bumped into Mr. Potato Head and said “I just felt you and it’s really hard.” Look for STFU to be holding the Prick at next week’s circle.

Wonton calls in Dominator to commiserate about getting older. It seems that Dominator can’t seem to remember what’s happening on 28-Nov, and demonstrates her early-onset altzheimer’s by asking “Is Bully home this weekend?

Next, Wonton lists a number of reasons what people get married: (1) for love, (2) to get PR status, (3) to qualify for an HDB flat….and …..(4) for tax reasons…Pubic Zipp & Herr Zipp are cited for getting married on Xmas Day 9 years ago so they could file a joint tax return for the year.

Malfunksion enjoyed being at the back of the pack tonight surrounded by a gaggle of women. The conversation focused on energy. The conclusion was if you drink coffee the caffeine gives you energy. This must be the truth since Malfunksion was quickly passed by Chicken Shit and then by Ayam Kampong. Give the speedy bastards a drink. He also points out that early in the run a maniac hasher was seen running around and shouting “Go left!”…”Go right!” The confused and confusing Mr. Potato Head is given a down-down. Finally, he hooked up with a bunch of lost souls that included Reciprocunt, Pinball Wizard, Not Tonight, Pubic Zipp, Sweet Thighs, CumPuss, Not Big Enough and Herr Zipp who all managed to make their way back with the benefit of a trail or GPS.

Next week’s run is a Thanksgiving Day run, so the GMs are brought in to provide a depiction of what the original gobblin’ turkey looked like.

The GMs arrive in the circle with a trolley. “What are we going to do with this trolley?” they ask. Tomorrow, Cock Radio is getting married so we’re taking him on a ride. After a very unsteady beginning we are asked if there are any questions for Cock Radio. Hand bag asks: “Why, Why, Why (Delilah)!” And we thought that Cock Radio was a confirmed bachelor. All of the women are invited in to surround Mr. Radio. The groom is given a down-down. The groom is then subjected to a storm of abuse from Cherrry Picker, Goody Bags and Strapless.

Twin Towers wants to know who were the hares for the last dog hash? Answer; Wet Patch and Shoe Shopper. Apparently the LCH3 is going to the dogs.

Such A Pussy calls in G-Sting, Backseat Bonker and Kan Not Kan – he is charged with taking photos.

The old committee is charged with fucking-up awards from last year. So this year’s committee has to fix the situation.

Small Bone tells us that he was sitting next to a very cute asian hasher in the Insomnia bar, the conversation went like this:

Small Bone: "No, it's because I'm probably gonna wind up banging you on the coffee table".

Last charge of the night: GMs recognize Peking Ong and Not Big Enough on the occasion of their nuptials on the very asupiciuos day: 11-11-11.

(Apologies for the somewhat incoherent rendition of the circle report – early on Jose took over writing the notes and they were indecipherable, consequently there is probably a bit more fiction in this report than usual. -HZ)