Hares: Sneaky Comer & the Scorpios
Date: Friday, 4 November 2011
Run Report by Sly Dog
After I checked the website and saw that the run was at the Bukit Brown Cemetery, I was privately relieved. After the last 5-6 marathon runs through shiggy and swamps, it would be nice to have an easy stroll through the cemeteries and to not have to wash leaves and sticks from my underwear afterwards.
Well, let’s just say that I should have brought a change of underwear! After the hares told us the run was on toilet paper, we headed off through the main gates. Taking a cue from Cherry Picker’s run last week, one of the hares immediately started calling On-On as he headed to the muddy trails to the left of us. The front runners turned around and the pack was On-Trail.
We had a nice muddy run on a wide trail until we came to a big fallen tree. After watching Cock Radio creak over and under the tree, we heard calls of T-check from the FRB’s. We back-tracked and found the correct trail heading upwards. The trail was already filled with SWB’s (slow walking bastards). The FRB’s darted around the SWB’s and some short-cutted through the shiggy until they got to the top of the hill and then went down a narrow muddy trail to a road. At the road the FRB’s called a T-check and started to head back. The FRB’s back-tracked and spread out looking for the trail.
As one of the slow runners, I was confused by the calls of On-On near the T-check so we headed down to investigate. At the T-check, we heard the calls of On-On farther up the road so we just ran through the T-check and headed for the calls of On-On. That was until Auntie Jack-Off scolded us and told us not to “screw the run” as she picked up the T-check! Chastised, we headed back up the hill, found the correct trail, and then came back down onto the same road a couple of hundred meters away from the T-check!
We were able to run for a while on the roads through the cemetery before heading into the gravesites that were made slippery by the rain and the moldy sludge covering them. For quite some time, we traveled single file through the graves and patches of shiggy. Ayam Zinking could be heard grumbling that Sly Dog was slowing us down and yelled “Keep running”. Cherry Picker corrected him as there were other slower ones ahead of us like TBA. At that point, I asked the Germans how you say “Asshole” in German. Apparently, it is something like “Aschlock”!
Some of the more experienced (old) hashers were quite surprised that the hares were able to find some virgin shiggy in this area. The virgin shiggy and graveyards were broken up by muddy residential drainage canals. One of the FRB Australian sailors was bulling his way through a knee high stream and he managed to find a 5 foot hole and fall right in. The rest of us just burst into laughter to see this fine specimen of steroids sink up to eyeballs in the stream. Yet he still managed to wade through the stream and pass the rest of us clinging to the muddy banks like little girls!
We came out to open grassy areas where we trudged around a water reservoir near the Singapore Polo Club. We didn’t actually see the Polo Club, but we could definitely smell the horse shit!
After some more T-checks, we entered a forest and had some great trail. Maybe I got a bit excited about being able to stretch my legs and managed to trip on a root and fall spread eagle on onto a concrete section of the path. Jurrasic Dick’s eyes almost popped out his head as he had just returned from a piss and saw my spectacular fall. Wiping the slime off my bloodied hands, I kept going. (Later, everyone that witnessed my mishap said they could not figure out how I could have tripped on such a clear trail!)
As a medium/middle runner, I was able to make it back to the start in about 55 minutes. A good run that kept the pack mostly together!
Circle Report by Wankie Pooh
Circle report 4th Nov 2011
Bukit Brown Cemetery – dark and spooky circle….
Hares: Scorpio Boys: Sneaky Cumer, Cunt Dracula... and sweeps Gypsy (and Zipp) staggered in just as the circle was starting
- All Scorpios called in to drink (7)
Next week’s hares: Stiffy and Not Tonight – Remembrance Day run – Germans pay double, Germans pay for Greeks
Virgins: 6 Steve Robert, Ian, Martin and two girls
Visitors and Returnees: Wet and Wild, Jaap, Boob a lube, Hungry Bum, Cunni Lick Her, Jurassic Dick, Maggot, Luke, Mansfield, Foby Tracy, Last Minute Dot Cum, Tinchu
Cherry Picker, Ayam Zinking and Sly Dog for Arshlicking…(see run report)
Hare Whip: Sneaky Cumer – the run plan was good, but fu**ed up by on-sec – locals are restive and not allowing the hash to run along one route...so banning the hash… still its ok to have a 6 lane highway through the same path…! To Chicken Shit – nominal local.
2. November is a rainy month, don’t need to be told by Cock Radio that it is raining – HE KNOWS!
Mystery Whip – Sly Dog to Noel newish member – new running shoes bright green and pink. State of the art, Kevlar, bullet proof….. many choices of colours!!!! And has a liner which stops the blood flow in your feet to stop them swelling….Naming “Panty Liner” – which also stops the blood flow.
2. Jack Off. He was gazing into no-where, winding down from a tough week at work… staring into space and she comes over and indicates that his eyes should be looking into her eyes- as she pointed to her boobs.
Mystery Mystery Whip – Ayam Zinking
To Deep Throat for mixing up names/ order of whips
Hares in the circle to commemorate that this would probably be the last run from here.
8.24 and Goodie Bag and female virgins – female bondage – all bending down as 8.24 put on his headlights
Chastity Belt to Bruce – or actually Steve (Australian Navy) – running under the influence – falling and not feeling it. Asked a question - How old are you? No reply…. A better response to ……. How young are you?
Cherry Picker – talking about his 11 year old son who runs with the Kids Hash – helping with the recce of last week’s run – no complaints. TBA and Razor – didn’t recognize he was a regular hasher – sporting a LCH3 t-shirt – oh the PUSSY HASH….
Cherry Picker – last week’s run – same run as the Seletar Trail of a previous run except with the addition of the short cut – it got Seletar Run of the Year – at LCH3 it got hash shit….. Cunni Lick Her representative of Seletar Hash
Boob a Lube – visitor to Hares. Every year he comes especially for the Scorpio run. Pays airfare from Australia – and this year didn’t get a shirt
Cock Radio to Boob a lube and Hungry Bum ….he will not be accepted if he doesn’t bring his bum along too!
Ugly Bum, Wet and Wild, Shoe Shopper, Loose Change to Cherry Picker for insulting the Harriets – they are the PUSSY hash in Singapore
Razor – called in Harriets with Royal Names…. Catherine (POTS), Victoria (Deep Throat), Alexandra (Pussy in boots)… the Australians have spent the last week worshipping the visiting English Queen …. All the Australian Navy- Tie me kangaroo down sport…..
Sly Dog to Bruce/Steve – drinking competition against Deep Throat. And then got a bonus extra
Herr Zipp to Razor he was on a slight incline, losing his footing, wearing his treasured pink T-shirt – Razor was right behind and didn’t help…because there was a female virgin to help instead
Stiffy to Slack Arse… When running on trail – you tend to follow the guy in front of you. He ran round a tree and started to pee – please step off trail and give due warning. He got his feet wet!
Wet and Wild to Deep Throat – where are your FUCK ME SHOES?
Not Tonight to Coo Chi Coo – asks if she has seen his wife? Is she back? No… he gives her a kiss. – pronounced alright!!
Ayam Kampong 12 years of helping to push my butt or twist my arm…to visitor for not helping
Little Stick… (sorry in the blur of extra beer being put on!!!? – don’t know the charge)
Penile Extension to all the Americans – an auction at Christie’s for Queen Victoria’s Knickers raised $9000!
Ladies were asked to help transport the Australian Navy boys to the on-on. Are they clean? Washed? Machine is away – G-string can take 3, can take 4, can take 5! – she was pronounced... Alright!
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