Run 1392 Sweet Thigh’s Birthday Run
Date : 27th February 2009
Hares :Sweet Thighs & Ditch
Run-Site : Chestnut
On On; Mr. Ho on site
Numbers: Members: 68 ran. extras; 2 (70) Guests: male: 14, female: 6,(20) Total 90
Assembling at the start of the run, there was a distinctly disgusting smell emanating from the bushes. ‘Dead cat,’ explained someone. This reminded me of 2 things. One was a song from a number of years ago that went, ‘There was a dead skunk in the middle of the road, stinking to high heaven……’ The second thing I was reminded of was a story regarding a sweet little 10 year old girl who was out in her yard digging a rather sizeable hole in the lawn. The man next door put his head over the fence and said, ‘Good morning Alice, what are you doing there?’
‘I’m digging a hole to bury my gold fish.’ said little Alice in a sweet, quiet voice.
‘Ohh, that’s sad, I’m so sorry to hear that.’ said the neighbour sympathetically. ‘But why do you need to dig such a big hole for your little gold fish?’ he enquired.
‘Because it’s inside your f**cking cat.’ replied sweet little Alice.
So, back to the run. Off we headed along a track through the bush until a T check turned us back and we had to negotiate the tall reeds down a slippery embankment. Back into bush and out again for a Circle check in the clearing which took us back into bush and out onto Petir Rd. Croc O ‘Shit was right up there. The Indian road work crew looked rather worried as 70 assorted runners descended on them. ‘Ohh my goodness gracious me.’
Along the drain didn’t convince Astronut, he smelt something was astray (hope it wasn’t another dead cat) as he slowed to a walk and sure enough it was a T Check. Back into more reeds and through the broken china and crockery, and as it was all broken I guess you could call it Croc O Shit. Emerging onto the back of the housing, it was up a long set of steps into the park, although there was a bit of short cutting across the grass. Down into a drain, and thankfully it was not raining as it would have been an interesting experience. Into some nice bush trails that bought us out to near home. This allowed the walkers to head back and very nearly tricked Boo who thought the Hares had stuffed up. But no, it was up the grassy hill and into more bush tracks which provided a highlight – a family of wild boars was disturbed and came crashing through the bushes amongst us. Emerging from the bush near Dairy Farm Rd, it was a nice little run along the track to home. A very different run for Chestnut, great use of the area and well thought out. Well done Hares, you certainly brought home the bacon tonight!
After a lot of coaxing, the GM’s finally got a Circle formed. Perhaps we need a whip or sheep dog to round people up?
What did we think of the Run? ~ Without beating about the bush, (especially the bit of bush with the dead cat), this was a Good Run.
Tell us about your On On? ~ On site Mr. Ho, salmon and salad.
Next Week’s Run ~ Ripper, off Woodlands Rd
Virgins: ~ Deanna, Gerald, Ronny
Visitors ~ Sex Change, Peter, Jurassic Dick, Terry, Mike, Crystal, Richard, Lincoln, Danny, Too Easy, Dog Mount,
Returnees~ Bagless, Landlady, Kwee Jong, Shoeless, Malfunktion
New Members ~
Do we have a Hare Whip? ~ Yes, we do, Ditch, and he promises shortness and sweetness (he’s short and Sweet Thighs is sweet, correct)
· Bagless 2 is dragged in and then sent out again on a case of mistaken identity. It was Shaggy Dick 2 who was doing a bit of showing the body off showering in front of the boys. However, our desperate attention seeker failed to make an impression as the boys up and left.
· Ditch and Sweet Thighs have been following the Face book saga of your scribe who had a bit of washing machine trouble for a few weeks, then when all was finally fixed found himself confronted with 8 baskets of ironing to do. However, Sweet Thighs suggested that would not be problem as your scribe doesn’t even own an iron and always turn up in wrinkled clothing. Wait a minute, I resemble that comment!
· Boo was confused tonight, as mentioned he started moaning that the run was going to be too short and the Hares had made a mess of it! Little did he know there was still a nice little loop or 2 to finish off with. Don’t follow Boo!
And now… it’s…. time…, for… the…. Mystery ... Whip: ~ Stiffy
· Stiffy has accolades for the GM being so well organised, which is a change from the usual charges he gets for organising Whips at the last moment. Stiffy was actually informed a few weeks ago about being the whip, and agreed. Then the other day he received a sms from the GM asking him to please reconfirm you will be a Whip. ‘Yes, I told you I would do it.’ replies Stiffy.
‘Yes, but you were pissed, I’m just checking you remembered.’ explains Astronut. And after Stiffy’s forgetfulness with the Harriet’s Dick last Wednesday, so he should be reminded. Anyway, a note for the GM for being too organised. Or for asking people to be whips when they are pissed???
· Singapore is well known for being a fine city, and there are signs up everywhere telling people what they can and can’t do. Well, more like what they can’t do I guess! Such as ‘Don’t follow Boo!’ But the UK has beaten Singapore by putting up a sign at a train station telling people ‘No Kissing.’ Apparently many passengers were being prevented from boarding their train due to couples kissing goodbye on the platform and impeding them from getting on. But perhaps we need this ‘No Kissing’ sign at the Hash. There was Stiffy at the start of the run setting off, only to have his path blocked by the Velcro twins having a farewell kiss. But not only that, at the end of the run his path to the Beer Wagon was impeded by another kissing couple, this time Shoe Shopper and Wet Pet. Ban the Hash Kiss!
· A little bit of rivalry was going on towards the end of the run, with a bit of competiveness creeping in. Stiffy accuses Comes Quietly of doubting his sexuality, in that he wasn’t sure which way he should go at one stage on the run.
‘Or is it because you are not running as fast as you were? ‘And you were very quiet at the end of the run!’ Stiffy goes on relentlessly attacking Comes Quietly.
‘That’s because I was running hard and couldn’t talk, unlike you,’ says CQ defending himself.
‘But I passed you in the last 400 meters,’ retorts Stiffy as he continues to put the boots in.
‘No you didn’t.’
‘Yes, I did’ says Stiffy confidently.
‘Well, only because I was dehydrated,’ explains Comes Quietly.
Give these 2 a note, and a beer. The beer will shut Stiffy up and it will rehydrate CQ!
· Stiffy turns serious and announces the Fagsucker Memorial Run to be held on March 20, Dempsey Rd, on on will be Irish and the famous T shirt will be back in action. More details to follow.
And now...it’s definitely time.....for...the ...Mystery Mystery Whip~ Ayam Sinking, let’s see what he is thinking?
· Apparently we had yet another case of mistaken sexuality. Before the run, there was a bit of stretching going on, which is good to hear. But the stretchee was a male who was bent forward in what can only be described as ‘Deliverance Style,’ and was jumped upon from behind, as you would expect having adopted that position. But the jumpee was not male, as in ‘Squeal like a pig,’ (or wild boar) but was none other than Goody Bags. So we had penile Extension bent forward and Goody Bags mounting him. Could have been a better picture, but sorry, I have to leave you with that one! (actually could have been a lot worse when I think about it – ‘squeal, squeal, like a pig!)
· Ayam Sinking witnessed a Hasher who complained about a hasher having a car crash during the week. So was the driver worried about injuries, insurance, liability etc? No way, they were worried about how they would get to the run Friday while their car was being repaired!
· Ayam Sinking enjoys going to the On On, so to enjoy some female company he asks Tia Maria every Friday to enjoy him, sorry, I mean join him. And she knocks him back every week. Don’t take this too badly Ayam Sinking, at least Tia Maria is still in Singapore and still turns up regularly for a run. A few of the girls I’ve asked to the On On have left Singapore and never been heard of again! So I reckon you’re in with a chance mate!
· Milestones ~ We want Knickerless!!! ‘Why?’ someone standing behind me asked. Without turning around, I explained how when Knickerless comes into the Circle wearing her short mini, she bends over to put her beer down. Yay! Then on leaving the Circle, the process is repeated as she picks her beer up. I then turned around, and who did I see standing directly behind me? Yep, Knickerless! Guess I deserved the slap across the ear that followed!
500 Runs~ Saliva. Well done and may there be many more!
The Prick~ Croc O Shit has the Prick, but has made a prick of himself by forgetting it.
A.O.B. Any Other Business ~
The GM uses his authority to go first, and points out that the ‘little blue pills’ have reappeared in the Circle, and Circle Jerk has what’s left of them. This may explain why he is feeling so knackered. But wait a minute, he has been away for awhile. Mmmm. Although away, being a dedicated Hasher Circle Jack has been reading the newsletter through email and has noticed a few misdemeanours leading to the police turning up. There has been streaking, bullying, outrage of modesty and so on. Kan Not Can prancing around near naked, Mr. Potato Head streaking, Cheeks Out bullying, the list just goes on. But according to Circle Jerk, the real culprit is Little John. Just what was he doing to stop Cheeks Out from bullying, did he try to restrain her? No, he was in the bushes having a pee. Therefore, take the blue pills and use them to slow your wife down!
· Ditch, or was it Peeking Ong, announced the 21st March for the Monday 2500th Run.$50 for run, T shirt, food, drink and entertainment, featuring the Tom Dick and Harry Band.
· Hand Bag calls in Circle Jerk and Eleven for not having a hash shirt on. We haven’t seen Circle Jerk since the wedding, and on tonight’s run Eleven was actually in front of him. ‘What’s up, CJ?’ he asked.
‘I’m knackered,’ replied Circle Jerk. Just what is Eleven doing to him to make him so tired? Handbag then broke into a little song, ‘He make me feel like shit, I can’t get over it ……..’ and the rest was lost on me as I reached for another beer.
· Wonton comes in with her Handbag over the shoulder, but it quickly departed like the Handbag before her. Stash has been in Manila, on ‘business’ of course, but when she called him, he answered ‘Hi Susan.’ Woops, would that be Suzie De Rosario, the pole dancer from the Yankee Doodle Bar next door to your Hotel Stash? If you knew Suzie, like Stash knows Suzie, oh, oh ,…..’ I would suggest some very nice duty free perfume on the way home to Singapore, but don’t write on the gift card with it, Suzie and Serene are a bit similar.
· Wonton is on a roll, and tells how Cheeky bemoaned after the run that she had dropped her keys into the ice chest (esky) amongst all the soft drinks. It was Dim Sum to the rescue, and he bravely dived his hands into the nice cold water in an effort to locate them. After 5 minutes, by which time Dim Sum was suffering frost bite to his fingers and the onset of hyperthermia, Cheeky calmly announced ‘Oh, here they are, they were on the table all the time!’ Cold comfort that was to Dim Sum!
· Croc O Shit loves Lion City Hash, so he tells us. Has he been drinking again? But tonight he feels like he was let down. Awww. Tells us about. Well, Boo has let him down, along with Hash Cash. Apparently it is 1 year since Mas Selemat escaped and still no sign of him. But surely if we had known there was a 1 million dollar reward we would have sniffed him out by now for sure. Perhaps that wasn’t a dead cat in the bushes, could have been the body of the fugitive. Go and check it out Croc will you.
· Hooray, who also gave a charge at the Harriet’s this week, is in to tell us about last weeks On On. All night the Hare, Kan Not Can, raved about the food and called it Tastes Good. But the name of the restaurant was actually Different Tastes. Were we at the correct place KNC?
On that note,
On On On On!
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