|| The AWARDS RUN
||14 March, 2008
||Cheeks-Out and Little John
||Kranji War Memorial
Astronut and Big Head made the circle's first order of business to welcome
Armless back to the fold. He had been away on an extended rehabilitation
stint in Germany but now he's back and is ready for debilitizing! One Herr
drinks, all herrs drink. Herr Armless, Herr Zipp, Hares: Cheeks Out and
Little John and since our pronunciation isn't all that great, why not Aer
Lingus as well?!
Cheeks out and Big Head were admired and congratulated for their kilts. The
run hares were then brought in and given the
GOOD RUN stamp of excellence.
Next week's run: Sylvie Duflot, a Lion City member known mostly by front
runners whose circle attendance is worse than Tiger Lily was in the circle to
tell us about next week's run. Another cemetary? How depressing!
The "Allez-y!" Run
21 March, 2008
Sylvie DUFLOT, Michel MUTIN & Croc O'Shit
Bukit Brown Chinese Cemetary
off Sime Road
On On :
Red Lantern $120 table
Visitors: Ringing WEt, Paper View, Vibrator, Winbow, Kannot Kan, Khan the
Cobra, Priscilla, Penile Extension, Handbag, Cucumber, and Shortherr
Returnees: Herr Zipp, Pubic Zipp, King Leer, Herr Lingus, Cunning Linguist,
Virgin D Kit was brought back in for paying too much attention to Goodie Bag
and Suzy Wong when he should have been listening to what was happening in the
circle. King Leer and Aye Aye were also chastized, and they seemed to like
it, for tittering away instead of listening with wrapped attention! Give them
all a note? Why were they born so beautiful?
Hare Whip Cheeks Out for the Boys tells us that laying with her husband is not
easy. Oh, I mean laying a run with her husband... You see, there are just
too many oportunities for arguments to arise. Case in point: Little John
draws an arrow on the underside of a bucket. However a bucket, as we all
found out, can be picked up and turned around. Do you think Little John would
listen to her when she pointed this out to him? Of course not! Nonetheless,
the charge isn't for Little John, but for the bastard who actually turned the
bucket around and sent everyone in the wrong direction. On in Machine! One
German drinks... ALL Germans drink! After Machine's charge, Cheeks Out told
us: "I only have two." This left the men in the crowd wondering if other
women had more, and why we were not yet aware of this. But, after clarifying,
we learned that she meant "charges". Her second when to a female hasher who
had confided that she wasn't up for a long run and would appreciate it if
Cheeks Out would point out any shortcuts so she wouldn't be the last one
back. When Cheeks Out actually provided this service, said Harriet gratefully
headed down the right trail, stopped and yelled: "BASIL! IT'S THIS WAY!"
Bring in both of the Towers! Twin Towers and Fawlty Towers! Give 'em a note!
Mystery Whip: Loose Change let all of us know just how stressful it can be
owning two cars. She apparently always comes in the blue one. On this
evening, Slack Arse came all the way from the plane! I'm not sure what this
had to do with cars but in any case, they ended up in the red car with GPS and
still got lost! GPS to find Kranji? Give him a note! Next in, Cheeks Out
for the Boys. Before this night's run, Little John pointed out that the large
yam leaves should not be used for wiping your bum as they can leave a nasty
rash. Loose Change couldn't understand why someone with a backpack full of
perfumed, pink toilet roll would bother using a yam leaf to wipe his bum, but
then she figured that he was using that as an excuse for his limp that was
actually caused by Cheeks Out over checking his crystal balls! Next in:
Hooray. It seems he just got back from a beach resort in .... Hmmm.... K.L.
His room was a bit far from the beach, but the halls were lined with ladies of
the night. Here's to beach bum, he's true blue. Lastly, Loose Change
mentioned that when one drinks beer, one gets heavy. Coo Chi Coo replied that
when he drinks beer, she gets sexy! Then Loose Change noticed that she had
something on her front. "They're tits dear." So... where were we... oh
yes... Because beer is fattening, Twin Towers decided to forgo it from Gin
and Tonic. Unfortunately, Fawlty Towers mistook her bottle of G&T for shower
water or shampoo or something and he ended up losing the bottle in the bush.
Lovely image, I know... A bush in hand is better than two bottles in the
Mystery-Mystery Whip: Stiffy called Armless into the circle and thanked him
for coming back to Lion City after a fact-finding mission to Germany. Armless
than invited G-string and Tiger Lily into the round to thank them for without
them, the monument from whence we started our run would not exist. I'm pretty
sure Armless said: "Whence". So Stiffy gave the 3rd and 2nd place finishers
from 1945 a down-down, and all the winners sang! Bronze, silver and Gold!!!
Next Stiffy called in Slack Arse who when consulted as to which way to go,
replied: "I'm going in the only sensible direction... I'm following Goodie
Bag!" Next Goody Bag, Eleven and Twin Towers were called in to demonstrate
their splits ability wear skirts that prevented them from gaining access to
the Ministry of Sound!
MMMW: Oh God! Another one? Circle Jerk arrived late for the run so he
didn't see much to charge people for until... Twin Towers and Fawlty Towers
arrived back to the circle by TAXI! SHAME! Next, Shaggy Dick Too, when he
wasn't dressed like mini-Spidey last week happenned to be wearing the exact
same clothes as Circle Jerk. As a result, after a charge in the circle,
Eleven walk back out and stood right next to Shaggy Dick Too waiting for him
to put his arm around her. Master of Disguise just to steal a girlfriend.
How low!? I guess she knew who to turn to in her moment of need. In any
case, Circle Jerk brought waterbottles for Shaggy Dick Too to carry in HIS
pants, but these go down the front, and were quite phalic to say the least.
Give him a note... and a beer because he's not pissed....
RUN AWARDS: and a lot of naked people!
150 Shoe Shopper
150 Comes Quietly
Winbow from Jakarta had a charge for Paper View, which may actually be
spelled: Pay Per View judging by her penchant for exposing herself. After a
short collection, we saw that she too had two...
Tiger Lily brought in Cock Radio who had been complaining of swelling after
runs. She rubbed to Tiger "Lily" balm on his knees and other things began
swelling. Give him a note... and a cold shower!
Kannot Kan called Pay Per View back in and asked her if hashing in Washington
DC was good since there was so much Bush in the White House..? Her
response.... another double shot. Helluva day to forget the VDO camera!
Tiger Lily called in Goodie Bag and Sylvie Duflot for a stretching show down.
Guess who won? Give both of the flexible ones a note.
Prick of the Week: Tiger Lily gets it for
claiming that she has such good eyesight when someone asked why they were
following her! Two minutes after, they were lost! She's the meanest!
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