Hares; Stiff and Shiggy Piggy
Well, I knew we had arrived at the run site when I saw the street sign that had been knocked over by Shoe Shopper parking the car last time we ran here. Off we headed into the bush, surprisingly with Armless leading the pack, only to find that he was just trying to find a quiet place to have a pee. Some concrete blocks across the trail presented no probs for the front runners who hurdled them with style, except for Coo Chi Coo who decided it easier to go around the outside. Some crafty checks had the pack scratching their heads, as well as a few other anatomical body parts that are better kept nameless. I had the good fortune to be with the first few runners that made it past a workshop before a dog resembling a cross between a wolf/panther/Tasmanian Devil, rushed out to savagely harass the rest of the pack. Luckily, a runner with lots of experience in canine matters was there to deal with this potentially disastrous situation. Welcome back McGoo, thank you. Back into the bush, some tricky little 'bridge' situations (read wobbly planks), a parallel section next to an expressway and more wobbly planks kept us going. A mother of all T checks towards the end had the front runners ready to lynch the hares (and not by the neck, believe me) but it got the pack together for the final stretch home. Ah, I love the sight of the beer truck in the evening. Good stuff hares, but can you get that street sign straightened up before next time? (but wait until Shoe Shopper has driven off)
Technical Details (for Croc o Shit)
Distance; 6.32671 km
Relative humidity; 82%
Wind; 3.2 knots from the South East
What did we think of the run?
Armless had a go at suggesting Hash Shit, as judging by all the old paper, this was the same run that has been used for the last 5 years from this site. As usual, this sounded like bullshit to us, and a Bloody good run was awarded, and deservedly so.
Virgins. Yes, we had virgins, 2 German males, Andrew and Torsten. Don't mention the war!
Returnees; Slip n Slide and Pussy Galore. (actually quite anice name combination when you think about it)
Visitors; Selena and Shuttle Cock (mmm, is that a relation of mine?)
New member: Goody Bag. Wow, yes, Goody Goody!
Armless gets Goody Bag back in (thank you very much, good choice!) and mentions the night at Chestnut that Goody Bag had 1 or 10 beers too many and had to put her bike on the rack on the back of his car (I assume she wasn't sitting on it at the time). When she rang to pick it up the next day, Armless whinged to Indecent Exposure that he had no beer in the fridge and could she go to Cold Storage to get a six pack, oh, and here's a couple of hundred dollars, why don’t you buy yourself some new clothes on the way, take your time. Then when Goody Bag arrives to pick up her bike, Armless says he has it stored in a dark basement room to protect it from the elements and come with me to get it. 'Bullshit, bullshit,.....’
Hare Whip. Goody Bag doesn't get far out of the circle, as Stiff comes in to comment on her sparkling arse. He actually wanted to get closer to see what was written on the butt of her shorts. Sure! what an 'Everlasting' charge, put a sparkle in my eyes I can tell you.
Next in, Stiff had a German with an identity crisis. One of our German virgins was seen crossing a creek jumping like a Frog. Come on man, are you German or French? 'He ought to be publicly pissed on,.....'
'It's always good to have a co hare' proclaims Stiff, but it appears his partner Shiggy Piggy had trouble setting the run today, mainly because he was still in KL at 4pm today when he was meant to be setting the run. Give him a note!
Stiff, being the experienced and thoughtful hare that he is, decided to help out a few runners towards the end as it was getting dark. But, as he found out, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink! Boo was offered the direction home by the Hare, but what did he do? He went in the opposite direction. Don't follow Boo!
Awards; Long Suffering relieves our 50 runs of suffering by putting on her super tight 50 run shirt. Well done!
Shaggy Dick 2 gets a 100 run award to the shouts of 'off off off ' and so he obliges by removing his shorts ( very efficiently too, lots of practice? ) Strange way to try on a shirt though.
During this time, Gypsy has been doing a lot of photographing, which is a great hobby. However it appears that he has only one subject he wishes to frame at the moment, namely Goody Bag. Armless, being rather observant, and rather keen to get Goody Bag in the circle at any opportunity, calls in Gypsy and Goody Bag and introduces them to each other. Having done that, he then introduces Goody Bag to Gypsies wife Zipp. What a kind person you are Armless.
Is there a Mystery whip? In comes Iron Crotch who has observed the showering habits of Hashers after the run (and lack of for the British, unless it's the last Friday in the month)There is soap, shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, deodorants, perfume etc but it seems that one hasher has her own personal fragrance. Come on in Pussy Galore, I guess enough said on that one.
Iron Crotch was having an in depth dinner conversation with Wonton, discussing the affairs of the world and general chit chat. Sad about Pavarotti passing away said Iron Crotch. 'Oh, poor Bill said Wanton, referring to the former treasurer of Lion City, Bill Pavarotti (who is alive and well!)
Is any racing allowed on the Hash? 'No f...ing' way is the unanimous reply. Remember 'The Wall' came down in Germany in 1989. Yet we still have a couple of East Germans racing each other to the end of the run. Come on guys, you were freed a long time ago! Of course, if 2 Germans drink, all Germans .....
Mystery Mystery Whip;
Indecent Exposure laments that as she passed Trumpet on the run, she asked him to look after her. And did he? NO! But a real gentleman looked after her though, and even pushed her bum to help her up the hill. Well done Gentleman Stiffy. Huh?
ID then went on about Cherry Picker who brought 2 friends along to the run. When asked where they are, he said 1 is there and the other is lost. Good friend, have a drink lad, and you ought to be publicly pi....d on.
Armless is back in with the never ending story of the Prick residing with neighbours at his condo block. he has just suffered another week of no sleep with Aye Aye and Saliva but is worried that even when Saliva goes out there is still groaning coming from upstairs. Mmm.
The Prick: In comes Ugly Bum and suggests that Phony Dick with his washing Machine D&D ticket saga is a candidate. Circle Jerk also lacks confidence in looking after his D&D tickets and shoved them into Eleven’s pocket, thus suggesting that Eleven doesn’t wash her shorts after a run.
Cumpuss is another Hasher with a D&D ticket problem. She has looked everywhere for it, on the fridge, cupboard drawer, under the bed, but to no avail. Ugly Bum comes to the rescue by showing her it was still exactly where she had securely pinned it for her.
Saliva came whinging to Ugly Bum, ‘Why no ticket lah, we first to pay but get no ticket, huh, what’s the story lah?’ But it appears that Aye Aye has the tickets but just hadn’t told Saliva. (Was he planning on taking someone else?)
So after all that, the Prick ends up back in the Saliva family, much to the displeasure of Armless.
Armless observed that one of our Carlsberg Truck men went into the nearby drain looking for a crocodile. It is decided that he should from now on be known as ‘Croc Hunter’. Crickey, bloody good name that. Boo has to come in to do a bit of Chinese translation for Croc Hunter.
Boo comes in and asks what is the Golden Rule of Hash? ‘Don’t follow Boo’ of course. Did Cherry Picker explain this rule to his visitor virgin friends? Appears not. One of the guests not only followed Boo, who was off trail of course, but actually pushed Boo aside and kept running in the wrong direction! He ought to be publicly p…ed on.
Running Shit gets all those not going to the D&D to put their hand up. Coo Chi Coo puts his hand up – all the way up Shoe Shoppers leg and under her mini skirt that is. Ok, you can put your hand down now mate, even if Shoe Shopper does have a smile on her face.
Eleven is given a mention for providing a bit of excitement for those males running behind her. It’s quite spectacular the way she carries her water bottle down the back of her shorts. Coo Chi Coo gives a very detailed description of what he can see down their, although he has to stand on tippy toes.
It appears that the ancient British Ancestors had red hair, according to BBC radio. Sybil, with her red hair shining under the street light, is called in and given an apology by the British Hashers who have been nasty to one of their ancestors.
Armless questions Coo Chi Coo about where Eleven threw the drink bottle that she had down the back of her shorts, seems he was rather keen on retrieving it.
It seems that doing the Harriets and Lion City Hash is not enough for Goody Bags. She turned up for the Seletar run on Tuesday and was even allowed to do half the run with them before they told her to p… off. Didn’t you notice something odd at the run Goody Bag, like you were the only female there????
At this stage the circle is split wide open as Kamala departs in the car, fortunately not wiping out the Hash Brew Table along the way!
Trumpet, noticing the dedication of the Hash Brew in saving the drinks gets Sharon Batu and thanks her for her loyalty in serving the drinks and looking so nice in her SIA uniform. Wow, a nice charge Trumpet, very thoughtful of you. Hope it doesn’t catch on though.
Stiffy mentions the Harriets Halloween run, organized by the men so it will be a good run for a change (only joking girls!)
Cock Radio, to the delight of the males, gets Goody Bag back in. Seems she was very keen to find the key bag to drop her keys in before the run. The only thing is she doesn’t even have a car here, so what keys did she throw in? Yes, her house keys! (Luckily I managed to get a set copied before she got them back after the run)
Coo Chi Coo asks Sharon Batu back into the circle, in fact he makes her stand in a certain spot in the circle so that the street light is making her SIA uniform see through.
On On On On
Scribed by Cock Radio
A couple of On On highlights –
Some great German singing, complete with actions.
Some great imitation German singing, complete with actions, by Gypsy.
Pussy Galore’s stories about Katong Park.
On-Back to Weekly Scribe Reports Index.
On-Back to Lion City HHH homepage.