The run:  This 3.35 mile (5.4km) jungle crash was dark and steamy.  The afternoon rainstorm had the hares worried, but they vigilantly re-laid washed away paper and guided runners through thorns, shaggy, root covered trails and water to safely return home.  Front runners on paper in at 1 hour and 10 minutes.  Walkers and short-cutters in earlier.  Everyone made it back safe and sound and there was no hesitation in awarding the good run seal of approval.

The circle was formed at 7:59 p.m.

Armless gets the first down-down for his bullshit about having done the run.  Hares, Little John and Cheeks Out for the Boys were brought in and congratulated for the good run.  Next week’s hares, Eleven and Circle Jerk, were invited into the circle to inform Lion City that their run will start at Mayfair Park.

Virgins:  Dorothy and Douglas ROBB from Kuwait.

Visitors:  Christine, Kowpaddy, Cracker-Jack and Jurassic Dick

New (returning) member:  Mouthful

Harewhip:  Cheeks Out for the Boys enters wearing her red tank top and sea-green pants with fuchsia flowers all complimented nicely with red fuck-me pumps.  “You see,” she said, “I don’t always were skirts to get attention.”  That’s right!  Her skirtless outfit worked just fine!  G-String and Sharon Batu were the first to be brought in for taking a curious route and then “getting a little in the back” when found to be off trail.  This could have been a linguistic slip.  Then again, maybe it wasn’t.  Next, our hare whip brought in several bald men and one blonde to recreate bush.  She hung paper over their arms and proceeded to explain how these people:  Astronut, Comes Quietly, Sneaky Cummer, Cunt Dracula, and Shoe Shopper missed all of the hints and signs of a long and obvious T-check.  At their age, they should have known better.  She thanked them for their hashmenship and gave ‘em a down-down.

Mystery-Whip:  Aye Aye calls in Chicken Shit, Cums Quietly, Sneaky Cummer and Wet Patch to represent last weeks Rugby World Cup losing teams.  Chicken Shit was Fiji, Cums Quietly was Australia, Sneaky Cummer was New Zealand, and Wet Patch was Scotland.  Aye Aye allowed Cums Quietly to leave without a down-down.  Aye Aye was rooting for England against Australia so that’s one loss he didn’t begrudge.  However, all of the others that lost made it painfully obvious to Aye Aye that the only team he had left to root for was England!  Poor man!  Allez les bleus!  Aye Aye’s second charge went to Sweet Thighs who was overheard after crossing the river to say:  “I went through the river.  It was wet.”  Let us not forget her comment on last week’s run:  “The sea is big.”  What can we expect next week?    Aye Aye then informed Lion City that the Nobel Peace Prize wasn’t the only important award for research that was being considered lately.  Harvard has awards for important contributions, some of which he proceeded to list:  Hamsters on Viagra recover more quickly from jet-lag.  Census data from a Dutch researcher about the population of dust-mites, bedbugs and other living organisms found in your average bed.  Most interesting was the development of a “Gay Bomb” to be used in combat to encourage attacking soldiers to drop their weapons and just say “Sod it!”  Aye Aye congratulated the US air force for making improvements on Agent Orange.  Shall we call it Agent Pink?  All the Yanks were brought in for a down-down.  Hell!  At least it’s not our fault Aye Aye’s now rooting for England!

Mystery-Mystery Whip:  Jack-Off stumbles into the circle walking like Saliva drives.  Aye Aye as brought right back into the ring and given a down-down for complaining about Saliva’s parking skills while Double Back was the one backing into poles.  Double-Back was then brought in and both were given a down-down.  Cheeks Out for the Boys was then brought in for breaking checks and running at the front of the pack as the sweeper.  She kept yelling:  “Keep running!” until she herself finally stopped dead in the middle of the track.  When Jack-Off asked her why she’d stopped, her reply… “I’m lost!”  Loose Change was brought in for falling on trail.  Not Tonight asked her:  “Are you ok?  Did you fall on any big pricks?”  Eleven ran ahead to ask Slack Arse if he was aware that his wife had fallen.  His answer:  “No, I’m ahead of her.”  In the end everyone was back up and running until Loose Change and Slack Arse both fell together.  (Don’t worry!  Only one landed on a prick.)  They were not seen again until the very end of the run.  Where were they off to then?  Jack-Off wasn’t done yet.  She called in Wet Patch and Slip-n-Slide for using improper hash warnings.  Instead of saying:  “Thorn”, “heads”, “trip”, etc… They were heard saying:  “Shit!”, “Ouch!”, “Fuck!” and “Wheeeeee!”.  C’mon guys!  Learn the jargon!  After this down-down, Wet Patch and Kowpaddy were kept in for doubting that Jack-Off could yank Wet-Patch out of the canal, and for really liking Sharon Batu’s apron.  These gentlemen seemed to be clinging to each other in fear of Jack-Off…  Or…, had they been hit by the Gay Bomb?

Prick of the week:  Armless related the troubles he’d been having lately due to the bedroom noises coming from the apartment of his new neighbours.  It turns out that Aye Aye and Saliva are now living in the same building and the moaning and groaning is keeping Armless awake all night.  He finally had to ask Aye Aye what the deal was.  Aye Aye answered that he had no idea since he is never home at night.  That’s when Armless remembered that Saliva got the prick last week.  Armless then begged Saliva to give the prick to someone else.  Saliva didn’t disappoint.  She called in Eleven for never wearing hash t-shirts after the run.  She also called in Ad Nauseum for being so rude to her when he called to speak to Aye Aye about rugby.  She put it to a vote.  The prick went to Ad Nauseum.

25^th Anniversary D&D quiz:  Cock Radio answered difficult questions such as the average I.Q. of blond Lion City Harriettes, and the chest size of our Grand Mistress with the number 25.  Then Lion City was told that there were only 30 remaining tickets for the D&D.  Phoney Dick Too was then brought in for having destroyed his ticket.  After being told that he wouldn’t be able to attend if his ticket was unreadable, he vowed to have it examined and authenticated by forensic specialists.

25^th Anniversary Run reminder by Ditch to sign-up ASAP.  Any members who haven’t already signed up are asked to do so NOW!

Loose Change makes a plug for the Breast Cancer run.

Mouthful calls in Christine who thought that the two rolls of toilet paper she saw at the start of the run were goodie bags.

Ripper nails Machine and Comes Quietly for racing on the Hash.

SloCum calls in Cock Radio for offering to share his “goodie bag” with Christine, who obviously likes goodie bags.

Suzy Wong calls in Cock Radio for his Wednesday antics of asking for phone numbers by telling Harriettes that as the scribe, he needs them for the reports.  (I hadn’t thought of that!  GENIUS!)

Finally, Grand Master Armless used the power invested in him to name Christine:  “Goodie Bag”.

Circle Closed at 9:00 p.m.

On-on:  Khek Community Resto

Scribed by:  Croc O’Shit

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