THE SEEING DOUBLE RUN.
Hares: Tiger Lily and Too Dry.
Location: Lorong Sesuai.
The Run: “Seeing double!!” By the end of this little romp around the Upper Bukit Timah Road most of the pack were certainly seeing double. By the expression “Seeing double” did they mean 11, 22, 33 or maybe even 44km? They certainly looked the part as the Grand Mattress called the circle to attention, identical twins covered in flour and chalk. One of them looked like she was ready for a sit down and a cup of tea, the other looked like she was just getting started. Who knows which was which or who was who? One of them decided that the pack were taking a little bit too long finding the trail so she was merrily breaking her own checks as she went, not only that but asking the FRBs to get a bit of a move on as well!! The long and short split was a welcome relief to some and a bit of a challenge to others. But at the end of the day it was “seeing double” with double the trouble, double the pain and double the fun. ON ON.
The Verdict. A good run, but with the front runners coming in after the 1 hour 25 minutes mark it had unfortunately wandered, in a hot and sweaty manner, into the badlands of the Technical Hash Shit.
Visitors Kathy, David, Peter and Dave.
Returnees: Chastity Belt, Wangkipoo, MiniHumper, Captain Red Arrow, Deep Throat.
New Member: Colin.
Hare Whip: The circle was still seeing double when Too Dry and Tiger Lily came in for the Hare Whip thing. Cock Radio was first in for a drink for setting a run at Lorong Sesuai last Sunday knowing fine well that the girls had one planned from there on the following Friday Some one said that he was just hoping to bump into them out on a reccee, naughty boy!!
All the keen, enthusiastic or possibly just plain stupid souls who did the whole long run were in next to have a well deserved drink and most were still looking pretty thirsty.
Too Dry then had the assistant On Sec in to ask him a question; “Have you ever written the run report in either Arabic or Russian?”, “No” was his reply, “I can barely write it in English”. Far too many people seemed to agree with him!!! The charge was against Ugly Bum for complaining that the Run Report was written in gobbledygook. Give me a break; it may not be Literature, but gobbledygook!!!! Give her a note, “Why was she born so beautiful……………………”
Too Dry then turned on her twin and gave her a drink. She said that she’d told Tiger Lily that the run was going to kill all of them, her reply; “Of course”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Give the masochist a note.
Last but not least Mr. Potato Head was in for falling off his golf buggy, going for a birdie but couldn’t even drive it down the roadie!!!!!!
Awards: Shoe Shopper gave a very eloquent little speech to introduce the recipient of a 50 runs t shirt. It was along the lines of a hasher who seems to have been here forever, has broken every bone in both feet and who has given rabies to half of the stray dogs in Singapore. On In Magoo, “Who let the dogs out……….woof woof?”
Mystery Whip: Ugly Bum brought a couple of very disrespectful hashers into the circle. She said that when she’d been at the front of the pack, a chorus of “Bullshit, bullshit, that sounds like bullshit to me” broke out at that point for some reason; Cock Radio had nearly assaulted her!! Strapless said he should have pushed her harder!!! “They aught to be nailed to the…………..”
Next in was a Harriet, Long Suffering I think. Ugly Bum had heard her say that she found it much easier to run on the side of the railway tracks rather than the middle as you didn’t have to open your legs so wide. Ugly Bum felt certain the stretch would be about the same. Next week try one leg on the outside of either rail and see how that feels.
Next Ugly Bum wanted to thank the hares for the “orgasmic flour”. At one point she and Shaggy Dick 2 had found a whole circle of the stuff. They were just about to taste a bit each and see how good it really was when Shoe Shopper came along to spoil all the fun!! Give the GM a note.
With the recent cricket ball tampering in mind she wanted to find out which Harriers had had their balls tampered with. Three very experienced ball checkers, Lick It Off, Shoe Shopper and Not Tonight were called into the circle. Cums Quietly, Cock Radio, Squire, Stiffy and Chastity Belt were hauled in for a good checking. After much ooing and argging the checkers unanimously decided that Cums Quietly’s balls had been tampered with. Shoe Shopper did seem a bit quiet at this point!! Give the tampered one a note.
Mystery Mystery Whip: Chastity Belt wanted Tiger Lily in for being a front running hair. Next in was Shoe Shopper who wanted him to whip her!!
He wanted to know what had changed on the hash since he’d been away. Not much, a few hip replacements, a couple of houses in Australia and a few more grey hairs. And who keeps charge of all this? None other than Senior Minister and Senior Mentor, Phoney Dick and Bully. Give the VIPs a note.
AOB: Loose Change gave Stiffy a drink for memory failure.
Ditch had Lick It Off in for a bit of dangerous road running, she said she likes it fast and on tarmac!!
Not Tonight brought Colin in who was wearing his rather strange “Croc” shoes. There had to be a name in there somewhere. After a bit of very intelligent debate Shoe Shopper christened him “Croc of Shit” and a fine name it is too.
Fag Sucker had 11 in for needing a translator for the whole circle, ON IN Cock Radio, the very obliging translator.
When on his way to visit a Harriet who had moved on to Shanghai, Phoney Dick had asked her if there was anything in particular that she needed. She replied that the only thing she needed was a flea collar for her pussy. I’m afraid that I couldn’t bring myself to divulge the identity of the lady whose pussy has fleas!!!!! Give the lady a note.
Boob a Lube had given Suzy Wong a big bottle of vodka for the Harriets; she’d decided to look after it herself as she knows you can’t really trust the Harriet’s committee with temptation like that.
Ian had Half Cut in who said that the 4th of July run was much better, she didn’t even run on the 4th of July!!
To round the whole show off Cock Radio gave Shoe Shopper a very well deserved drink for some pretty bad driving offenses.
ON ON: The Red Lantern.
On on Shaggy Dick Too.
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