The Run That Binds
Hares: Loose Change & Slack Arse.
Location: Sunset Lane Multi Story Carpark.
The Run: There were mixed reviews about the run from the crowd at the circle --- for what it’s worth, I thought it was a good run.
Next week the run will be at Key Point opp the Concourse on Beach Road. So, get you’re a** to the city for a concrete jungle run!
Virgins were suddenly discovered at the end of the run. The trio is Mother, Daughter & Friend to make an incestuous “ménage a trois”. The visitors Flavor of the Month, Gecko, Frankenstein and Slip ‘n Slide were treated to some golden brew. Dim Sum was called in separately for his usual perversions.
The Hare Whip was Loose Change. Slack Arse “on in” for bringing all the electronic devices such as a GPS to lay the run, but forgetting to bring his parang. Maria “on in” because she volunteered her husband to help the virgins in the bush. What a trusting fool, she is! However, Magoo returned with the virgins and he had a broad smile on his face, too. Magoo was also caught seeking wet tee shirt volunteers while he was showering after the run. (I guess he takes a shower once a week, whether he needs it or not.)
Mystery Whip went into a long discourse about Half Cut following some underage stud at the border with Malaysia and somehow she managed to officially leave Singapore without ever stepping onto foreign soil. Did I miss something here? Details please.
Stash was honored with an On Down! for stamping on a snail who apparently was stalking him throughout the run. Was this a fast snail, or is Stash that slow? The Australians were called into the circle because the Hosts of the Commonwealth Games apparently have a mathematical disability. How many medals has Australia won?
Mystery/Mystery Whip enters with red “f**k me” shoes to match her flame colored blouse. Male members gave lots of cheers and jeers for her apparel. She promptly called in Dim Sum because he allegedly ran into a lamp post while wearing his hat too low over his eyes --- I hope the woman he was watching was worth the lump on his face! Cunt Dracula was given some golden suds for blazing through the restaurant at the first check without bothering to call On! On! to the slow running bastards. Strapless and Shoe Shopper received a primary school lesson in anatomy with a “head, shoulders, knees and toes” demonstration.
Intimate research into the Prick of the Week, Hash Shit and Pussy of the Week led the Whip to award Peeking Ong with a lovely new bra for always yelling “Show us your tits!” (No one seemed interested in his tits. I suppose the bra looks better.)
AOB: Stiffy and Skid Mark were made to drink the golden ale because of their argument over who has the biggest electronic storage device. Sounds like a floppy disk to me!
The Prick [of the Week] was dropped on the ground in some kind of a crude circumcision ritual before it was awarded to Shaggy Dick for chatting up the virgins. Apparently he asked JoJo for her hash name during his search for nookie and she replied “Not yet” which totally deflated Shaggy’s dick.
Sharon Batu and Hooray were honored with more beer for merely abusing the alcohol at the circle without even attempting to run. (Where’s the problem here?) Peeking Ong was the Canadian representative who was given a brew because the Canadians are insensitive to bl**dy, f**king obscene expressions.
Not Tonight then called Shoe Shopper into the circle. She explained about thrushes and erections and the disappointment of females at the sight of one these animals. Suddenly there was absolute pandemonium about the “old shits” sitting in chairs before the circle. I guess those without chairs were jealous.
Aye Aye called himself into the circle to drink to the Irish for defeating the English at rugby. Is this self indulgence allowed?
Phony Dick confessed his “delusion of grandeur” when he thought the virgins were following him. Imagine his bitter disappointment when he noticed they were following some young rooster during the run. Just another wet dream.
Several participants were called into the circle for not wearing Hash apparel. Where are the Fashion Police when you need them?
Ian almost received his hash name. However, the male voices cried foul and quickly rejected the proposal for “Big Member”. Several persons volunteered to change their hash name to big member. Fat chance!
Jim and Too Good were called into the circle for reminiscing about romantic interludes in the past. Cunt Dracula wasn’t amused.
Coochicoo was honored with a beer for accomplishing two things at Suntec City: He ascended to the top of Suntec before any woman shopper did and before Barbarian did. Congratulations!
The crowd rushed off to the restaurant at the corner of Ulu Pandan and Clementi Road. The Hares donated two beers per table to quench the endless thirst of the hashers. The food was very good and revelers continued to imbibe until about half past midnight.
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