Hares: Cock Radio, Lord Farquhar
Location: Jurong Heavy Lorry Park
The Run: A couple of new hares had the pack running at a good lick as we splashed through the trails behind the lorry park. Hold on a minute – aren’t there supposed to be checks? Highlight of the run was ingenuity of displaying checks - when they actually came they were a bit like London buses (you wait 20 minutes and then three arrive one after another). Lovely little stone circles with flour on top…..very arty farty. To keep the pack together the hares had a couple of loops and some dodgy ground to turn ankles on. Al in all splashing good fun and a nice mile to finish with for the FRBs – not what the rest of us wanted!
The Verdict: Good Run but too many checks and not enough water.
Virgins: Byron and Mia
Visitors: Knud, Robin, Mette, Prick in Hand, Cesspool, Hotel
Returnee: Captain Red Arrow (Jakarta)
Hare Whip: Cock Radio
Magoo on in for asking where the T check was after it had pissed down rain all afternoon. Cock Radio demonstrated pissing down rain – the circle was left in no doubt how magoo got his name…...
Peeking On and Bully on in. Ran until they could find a taxi. Asked if they came in the taxi both proclaimed they did not but they arrive in a taxi (for the start of the hash – apparently they work as part-time spin-doctors for Tony Blair). However they had to obtain funds illegally so Big Head had to help them out so you were rumbled boys – give ‘em a down down.
On in Cheeky. When she reached the Stonehenge – she did homage and started taking off her clothes. Does she think she’s Salome? Give her a down, down
Mystery Whip: Stiffy
On in Jackoff for sending racist videos. Of course it was German so allegedly OK. Mayday, mayday Ve are Zinking – “Vot are you Zinking about?”. A down, down ??
Skid Mark standing in for Barbarian. We finally have the explanation why Barbarian wears tights – he wants to do yoga and is too bloody cheap to buy two sets of kit. It was then speculated that the really wants to do ballet but it was decided that was impossible as no one could lift him – even though he does a perfect entrechat douze!.
Mystery Mystery Whip: On Up
Wasted most of his afternoon trying to find something of socially redeeming value in the Straits Times.
He decided that he would try and find some socially redeeming conversation on the hash but no luck – the hash only talks about sex – many hashers find redemption there…..!
First he heard about sexual joy – on in Mother Mary. Her “Dick” has been viagrated and it’s back to the good times. Presume it’s stopped him snoring then!
Second he heard about sexual frustration – He and Suzy Wong ran together and quickly began to slag off their partners. Apparently Skip is having trouble holding his liquor so the hash will have to look after him so Suzy can get some satisfaction (note for Skip – by the ears mate !!).Give her a down, down.
Third he heard about sexual exploration – something about rubber with spikes on it and a bathing suit. Must be a Busby Berkeley deal we surmised….
We know moved on to the socially unacceptable and began a discussion of Broke back Mountain. On in Peking Ong and Stash. While running along Stash bent over to tie his laces and Peking On, coming from behind, was heard to comment “ I can see all the way home from here.” Give ‘em both down,downs – Oscars pending…..
50 Runs: Fag Sucker
450 Runs Stash
Prick in Hand and Jackoff on in. Strapless on in – Running along with these two he says – “Where are all the girls.” – turns out we only have ladies on the hash, then!
Ayam Kampong – She is so deprived that she will pay to see the real thing. She wouldn’t (or couldn’t) look away as a man was changing. With rising Prick popularity perhaps its time to go down to the Toy store for more supplies – what say, Ladies?
A pair of lovely hirsute men – life is good for the hasherettes.
Kamala – She and On Up are both looking for a sugar daddy and mommy
Robin – It seems certain charges were raised against the woman he sleeps with (still Matte apparently). A black garment was passed around at last weeks hash – they were supposed to be knickers but she claimed she had purple knickers. Robin did the laundry and found that the black garment was a bra but no purple knickers were to be found. A search of the golf course found the purple knickers. On in Boobalube and Running Shit for not properly caring for the knickers.
Coochicoo – Scotsmen on in. They claim they invented the Macintosh – men have always covered-up in the rain - they just gave it a funny name. John Dunlop invented the tyre though not the wheel (about as much use as a pub with no beer). Out of necessity they invented penicillin, Baird made the first TV because they A Scot leave the house 9 months out of twelve. They claim to have invented golf but the news now reveals that golf was invented by the Chinese 1000 years age. Only thing surviving of note is a form of English no one could understand – that’s why they feel at home in Singapore, then. Give the bouys a wee dram
Pussy Lifter – Gave assistance in naming hashers for charges. On Up, on in for not being specific in his requests – who was the GM donkey’s year ago? – well half the hash, actually. Next a bike hash resulted in someone needing to take a taxi from the same location – It was Peeking Ong – confused? Well ze scribe zertainly vas but he deserved a down-down anyway.
Coochicoo – On in Lap Top Girl
On in Running Shit for using his phone – but the circle had lost interest cos’ they were hungry and we could smell the food – and anyway Jason had run out of beer
ON ON: On site – Greasy Spoon
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