The Harry’s Bar Run
Hares: Wet Patch and In & Out, Suzie Wong
Location: Orchard Towers Car Park, 6th Floor
This run was indescribable (certainly be me anyway, as I didn’t run it). I do know that part of the route took the hashers up along Orange Grove Road where a number of smiling hash faces were seen by your humble scribe and given appropriate encouragement. Dalvey Road and Malcom Park were on the route. From some of the post run comments the hares reportedly provided a full 10K measure of road running that also included a brief tour of the Botanic Gardens.
Wet Patch: “If you run like this (Wet Patch demonstrates a slumped-over hasher running with his head down) how can you see the flour on the trees, Running Shit? On Dalvey Road you ran right by four big blobs of flours on the trees!” Here’s to the blindman.
Before In & Out went out on tonight’s run, he put a number of bottles of water under the bonnet of his car to warm them as is his wont. He, of course, alerted Suzie Wong about the situation, and that the bottles needed to be removed if the car was to be driven. So what do you think happened? Correct! A down-down for the forgetful Ms. Wong.
Wet Patch really misses the way The Irish ran the hash as it should be run. Tonight he recognized Coo Chi Coo as the only hasher to run all the checks, the only one to really “run the fookin’ hash”. For his integrity, Mr. Coo was saluted (to only a rather faint and ragged rant of “Bullshit!”.)
When the GM announced that the award was in recognition of 500 runs, everyone went silent (not really) because they knew that this award was going to someone who has spent roughly ten years of Friday nights at the hash. Who could it be? The award went to long-standing (shakily at times) member, Loose Change. Cheers!
Fag Sucker: The GM is called on the carpet or rather into the circle for his persistence in chasing after Fag Sucker to be the Mystery Whip. GM gets a down-down for being a nudge.
The next charge brings in the following group of hashers: Boo, Running Shit, No Good (for Coo Chi Coo? Where did he go?) and Hoo-Ray. The question posed was: “What did you think of the greenery in Malcolm Park?” The answer obviously was that they had no clue since they short-cut that particular part of the route. All are cited for failure to stay the course. Short cutting on a hash, who ever heard of such a thing?
As Fag Sucker drove up to Orchard Towers this evening, who do you think he saw loitering around out front? Asked to account for this, Wet & Wild is quizzed: “How much did you make?” We all hope her employment pass permits additional part-time employment, you know, to cover a little something on the side.
Magoo and Half Cut are cordially invited to join the Mystery Whip in the circle. Fag Sucker was engaged in conversation with Magoo when Half Cut walked by wearing the Hash Brew costume – he became instantly and totally distracted? For his lack of concentration Magoo got a free drink.
Aside: GM gaves a down-down to Fag Sucker for ignoring his physiotherapist who told him he shouldn’t run for six months.
Mystery Mystery Whip:
Magoo remained in the circle, ‘cause guess what? He was the Mystery Mystery Whip!
He reported that he got a call today to be the MMW, but even though it was a last minute thing, he felt that the GM was too easy a target for a charge.
Now on the other hand, the hares were prime candidates. On-in In & Out, Wet Patch and Suzie Wong. At one point on tonight’s run there was an unusual mark: a circle with a question mark (?)? WTF!? How’s the average hasher to react to such confusing signage? Answer: Give the hares a down-down.
In & Out stayed a bit longer in the circle as he was charged for being a slacker. Magoo found it surprising that it took I&O so long to get to the Botanic Gardens having set the trail.
A harrier had a fight with a barrier (a hash house barrier?) and the barrier won. But, it wasn’t all Stiff’s fault as the crash was actually caused by Astronut waving at him thus diverting his attention a critical few seconds before impact. Down-downs to both.
Prick of the Week:
As this was a week full of inattention, Magoo got to keep The Prick simply because he forgot to charge anyone.
GM called in Iron Crotch and charged her for failing to identify another visitor, Steve Wright. Isn’t that right, Steve?
Announcement: Next week’s hare, Hoo-Ray has some incriminating photos of the local beer distributor consequently next week’s run will feature both free beer and T-shirts, way-to-go, Ray!
Not Tonight stated that she was a therapist (what kind of pissed is that?) and chides Fag Sucker for not listening to his physio’s advice. But that’s not why was back in the circle. She said that a number of people had noticed Fag Sucker’s shorts with the pocket in the front. Fag Sucker was a bit put off at what he thought was to be the same old charge about those shorts, but no. His shorts it seems have been getting shorter due to shrinkage. Wonton was then called into the circle to provide Fag Sucker with washing instructions because as all can plainly see Stash’s shorts were a example of perfectly laundered shorts with no shrinkage. Here’s to short shorts.
Jackoff gave another down-down to Fag Sucker because six months ago he told her that he had to be on the physio table for six months. – time flies, must be healed by now, what’s the complaint? Magoo is also given a down-down for telling Jackoff early in the run: “You really want to be nice to me since I’m The Prick of the Week”. In retrospect, he really deserved a down-down for forgetting to pass it on.
Announcement: Sunday Hash Haloween Run on Saturday 29-Oct., come dressed pretty.
Speaking about dressing, Trevor tells us that he was accused by Ayam Kampong of being overdressed for the run. Trevor pointed out that Ms. Kampong, wearing a full skirt, was in no position to make such statements. Down-down for the overdressed one.
Stiff made an announcement that a gray pullover and one sock (was it left or right?) were left at his place after run #1209. If not claimed promptly, they will be placed on e-bay.
Not Tonight once again placed bottle-to-head and entered the hallowed ring. “Wet Patch has to answer a question – a hasher has been missing since 6 P.M. – where is Red Snapper? It was suggested that she should “hash divorce” him for setting such a crappy run. All she needs to do is the state “ I hash divorce you” three times in the circle. Wet Patch said it was far too late for anything like that. Here’s to divorcees.
Saliva, widely known as “The (rules) Enforcer”, detected a violation of rule #1 (actually it’s rule #2, since rule #1 is: There are no rules.). When you come to the circle, you must wear a hash shirt. Multiple violators were caught: Iron Crotch, Poser, No Good, Ellen & Stephanie.
Aye Aye called Amy into the circle. When Chicken Shit arrived, she was immediately sent off since she was the wrong Amy. Amy has been a member for many years, but has not been seen in recent times until he suddenly re-surfaced last week. The theory that Aye Aye suggested made very good sense. As any good hasher could see, this weeks run was at the “four floors of whores”, so Amy shows up last week so it is not so obvious when he comes this week. Charged for camouflage.
Fag Sucker noted that Wet & Ready and Gemma went to the 7th floor of the car park to change. Why do you have to go to the 7th floor when there’s the whole 6th floor to use? Did they or didn’t they want to be wet?
Last order of business: GM announces that Gemma has become the newest member of LCHHH.. A naming opportunity was immediately seized on as she had almost literally walked into a name. After a very brief buzz around the circle, it was decided that from this hash forward she would be known as Wannabe Wet, the latest addition to the ever increasing Wet family.
On-on to Harry’s Bar and Tania.
On-on, Herr Zipp
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