Hooray’s “Berzerk at Brewerkz” Run.
Date: 13th of May 2005.
Hare: Hooray, Bagless and Itchy Balls.
Location: Brewerkz Bar.
Hooray is obviously a man with a great deal of experience when it comes to knowing what Hash House Harriers really want! With this in mind, what a perfect place to set a run for a running club with a drinking problem. Not only did he choose a bar, but he chose a bar that brews its own beer! Now I don’t imagine it gets better than that! To be honest I’m amazed that some of the thirsty hounds actually made it out of the bar and onto the run. The reports were that it was a well set city run. The boys got to show off their running prowess in front of all the pretty little Singaporean office girls on their way out for a quiet drink on a Friday night. The girls got to do a bit of window shopping and catch up on the week’s goings on whilst working up a bit of a thirst. It was a good city run with some good checks and a drink stop thrown in. I think Hooray was really trying to make a point, a drinks stop and a brewery! I hope nobody was driving home. There was on prat who came all the way from Ho Chi Min city who should have been driven home at the first possible moment, but we’ll come to him later.
The verdict: Great location, good city run, not enough alcohol, too many people from Ho Chi Min City. Good on you Hooray, ON IN for a well deserved down down.
Visitors: Zombie Loaf.
Returnees: Bagless, Mr Potato Head.
Bagless wanted the Grand Master in for a bit of bad timekeeping. Slocum didn’t get the pack going until 18.01. That really isn’t on is it, what sort of club do you think this is? Maybe the Hares were a bit worried that the pack wouldn’t make it back before closing time and that they would have to drink all the beer themselves! Cheez what a thought.
Ad Nausium was next in for breaking a few of the checks before the run had started, cheeky little bugger. Certainly deserved a down down.
At this point Slocum gets Shoe Shopper into the circle. Last week she was absent from the Hash, her excuse being that she was off doing humanitarian work in Sri Lanka. Slocum knew better and not only that he had the photos to prove it. Of course she had been Shoe Shopping, and judging by the photos she was having a hell of a time. Having had a look at them myself, the vertical black ones with the 10 inch heels looked about the best buy out of the bunch. If they are not a pair of Fuck Me shoes to be proud of I don’t know what are! When do we get to see them in the circle? Here’s to the fashion victim she’s true blue……….
On In Shoe Shopper and Hooray. Now Shoe Shopper is a true blue ozzie but does like to take her running seriously. When she got to the drinks stop Hooray was very keen for her to have a beer but she was all for having water, in exasperation she was heard to shout “I’m not a man for f#$%s sake, give me a water” With shoes like that we believe every word!
Bagless was next in to receive a much sort after prize. Yes it was his turn to get the prick of the week. I have no idea why he was awarded it but interestingly during the course of the evening he managed to lose it. So he certainly deserved it, even if it was for events that occurred after he had been given it! Maybe we have a clairvoyant on the hash who knew he should have it because they knew he would lose it later, after having been given it. If you see what I mean. This opens up a whole can of worms which I think are probably best left unopened! Anyway here’s to the man who can’t remember where he put his dick, he’s true blue…………………………and should really be a little bit more careful in future!
Half Cut, and I have to say what a superb name for a Hash Brew, came up with a great idea. Namely that people should give her any unwanted bottles of spirit lying around the house. My first thought was “my god she does like a drink”, infact they are to be used a down downs for special occasions. “Oh it’s Friday, mines a double J.D. please” that sort of thing.
Dogshit gets a glass of Lord only knows what for 200 runs and Quickie something of a different colour but similar toxicity for a big 400. Here’s to the achievers they’re true blue……..
Mystery Mystery Whip:
Armless brings Sneaky Comer in. He’d been sneakily coming around a corner wearing Rambo green, popped up and gave Armless the fright of his life. Sneaky Comer by name Sneaky Comer by nature!
Hand Job and Cum Puss were in next for various sexually related offenses. This is a family show so I’ll leave the details up to your imaginations. Here’s to the naughty, naughty girls.
Skid Mark was in for a comment relating to the fact there is finally a Hash Brew who fits the apron.
Bagless is in because he managed to keep hold of his wallet for the whole run be then lost his dick. I think it was something along the lines of here’s to the tight fisted from Aberdeen, but I couldn’t be sure.
Coo Chi Coo was in singing a song about all Australians being illegitimate, tell us something we don’t know.
He also told a joke about what do you get if you cross an Italian with a cow, a wallet that pinches your arse of course.
Finally I’d like to give Stiffy a hypothetical down down for scribing the circle report on a school teachers day planner with writing that made about as much sense as a sheet of papyrus covered with Egyptian hieroglyphics. Cheers mate, good job.
When you set the run in a brewery I guess you have to expect the ON ON to get a bit messy, and that it most certainly did. One visitor from Ho Chi Min city filled himself to the eyeballs with yellow fizzy stuff and then tried to chat up anything even half resembling female. He then decided the rice was a bit dry so poured in a glassful of lager gravy just liven it up a bit. Hash security was on hand to do a good job of leading him away. Five minutes later he was back for more. Piss off You Prat were to sentiments of the remainder of the circle. He was finally escorted away. The beer kept flowing and the pack kept drinking. The dick got lost, the pack got pissed and everyone was very happy indeed. Some even made it over the river for a night cap after the party finished.
Cheers to the Hash for donating money to the event. A big big cheers to Hooray for organizing it, many thanks to the git from Ho Chi Min for the entertainment (We were laughing at you not with you). Finally, big thanks to a certain pilsner lager for a bastard of a hangover. ON ON and Run The F#$%^%g Hash.
ON ON: Brewerkz.
On on Shaggy Dick Too.
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