A doubler, Two In wan, or a Follier –Upper Report this week.
Run No: 1129
When: 9th April 04
Where: Eng Kong Playground
Occasion: The Velcro Twins 1st Anniversary Run
Hares: The Velcros
Mystery Whip: BloodShit
Mystery2 Whip: Gypsey
Members: 54
Guests: 28
On-On: Red Lantern
Run No: 1130
When: 16th April 04
Where: Yishun Ave 1
Occasion: 3rd Annual Eurasian Run
Hares: Indecent Exposure, Poser, Zipp, Puss in Boots
Mystery Whip: Armless
Mystery2 Whip: Zipp
Members: 54
Guests: 28
On-On: Sembawang Eating House
Ok Stiffy: Cork Dictionary at the end (ya Fouckin Eejit) Honest to God Stiff.
Ok No Problem: HMB = High Maintenance Bitch
(So who is Yer Wan rubbing Me Clock and asking for me E Mail address, telling me I’m the fastest thing on two legs she seen in Yonks. Says she’s a hasher in Singapore and she has a hash name and all that. I reckon she’s a Mentallers from the Lee Rd and is only left out for the day. She might even be a Mate of The Big White Beoir)
So no Aye Aye this week and no Astronaut (Yes lets Hoover the Fouockin Beer Wagon and we can blame the Navy boys & Vietnam Rose)
GM:
§ On in the Velcro Twins - what did we think of tonight’s run??? Good Run and Happy Anniversary. Give ‘em a note.
§ Next weeks Hares: On in Zipp (Now that was the worst run of the year, around a Fouckin Golf Course fence and back to The Gaff, so how do I know in advance that it will be a shit run, because this is a Doublererupper) We had only 8 guests in Total, the stay aways must have had inside info on this Debacle. On in the Hares, there is a Savage Shine off Astronauts Clock and it’s blinding someone. Give ‘em a note.
§ Next weeks Hares; Cunt Dracula (I couldn’t give two flying Foucks as long as it’s not Dempsey Rd - already a Langerload of runs there next week) Shit can’t hear what he’s saying, I’ll check it on line next week.
§ On in Virgins: Izumi, Sam, Chris Plath, Dan, Schyler and Vincent, give ‘em a note
§ On in more Virgins: Wolfgang (yes a Virgin set the run and he wanted to know why I finished it in 45 mins, well it’s like this Ya Muppet ya didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to notice after 5 mins flat that we were just doing one big loop and when me and Cums in Turd got our heads around that then it was just one big race.) On in John Carmody from Stab City” give ‘em a note. (Yeah the Irish Gang was down to its Critical Mass level, time to bring in Reinforcements, by the way Astroshineyhead he’s another Hoover merchant except he’s a dyson special)
§ Visitors: Watch my ass, Kristy (seeing lots of this Mare lately, watch this space???) Sivert (Speedy tit’s mother) Give ‘em a note.
(Loose change is looking drop down Gorgeous again tonight; “what a Fouckin Lasher” the whole place is Lampin her, she'd Stop Traffic)
§ Visitors; A Fouckin Langer load of ‘em 28 in total (that’s Just the Ticket for Cums in Turd, he’s a mathematical genius and he reckons that the amount of visitors once it is greater than the amount of Irish at the hash then Lion city can’t loose money, I told him about the Draught thing (that was after I explained to him that no Ireland wasn’t going to war and anyway even if it was he misses out conscription by about 30 years) and the saving S$12000/annum deal, well he nearly swallowed his can of beer and did a little Irish gig around the Garden.
§ Returnees: Mini Hamper, Bubbles (one of our own) and Goh, Vietnam rose (I wonder why???) Forest Cunt (didn’t even know he was away) So I don’t see Black Widows name on the Fouckin sheet does that mean we missed out on more Dosh. I see more Irish here from Tralee Give ‘em a note
She was lovely and fair as the rose in the summer.
Em D7
Yet 'twas not her beauty alone that won me.
G G7 C G
Oh no, 'twas the truth in her eyes ever dawning
C G D D7 G
That made me love Mary, the Rose of Tralee.
§ New Member: The Hoover merchant from Stab City (Yeah I brought him along and he even joined straight away, he just couldn’t believe the deal with the beer, thought the hash was mental) Give him a note.
§ Awards; on in Phone Sex (I’m running with this gang for over two years and I’ve reached 50 runs, something wrong with the math here!!!) So he takes off his (my) top turns sideways and he’s marked absent. He’s more Fouckin ribs than Dan Ryan’s or Tony Romeo (they must be some old dead hashers?) The Fouckin Shirt is like a circus tent. Give him a note.
Mystery Whip Bloodshot, he has two serious charges;
§ he needs a look-alike for Death wish 4. On in the Dude from Bali. He saw a free medical exam. I exposed Cuming up (who is this???) and he was caught with his hand up her hole but he is her doctor so it’s probably okish. Give her a note.
§ So when they went to pick a Candidate for presidential elections in The States you have to be American Citizen. For Fouck sake the Irish Built the Fouckin Gaff and the Canadians run the Fouckin Gaff so they need someone full of Shit where better to look than the Ministry of Defence, on in Phone Sex.
Mystery Mystery Whip Jasus its Gypsy (Did he actually run)
§ Female Semen on in, I love it, you can have me anytime, you can have me in the Morning or in the Evening all over this land.
§ On in Sexy Wan She’s a little flat chested, She was late but she came and she met her man right in the muck and sang to him “Which way ya goin Billy can I go to”
AOB:
§ On in Saliva: she protected it and Cums in Plastic (yeah Navy ship in Town we know what type of plastic you are using)
(Jason is in his element; he keeps on Fouckin in the beer to the Ice box, but its being emptied faster than he can fill it. No Astronaut yes yes yes)
§ Kitty Hawk wants to take on Lion city at beer drinking so it’s a head to head between the Navy Wan and anyone from Lion City, so she Lamps Dick sitting down and half foucked looking and she picks on him, you know the weakest link or so she thinks. (But as some of you may not know but Dick is Irish, don’t let the American accent put you off, he practically invented the Hoover. He bate The Berd off her. Good on ya kid, give Dick a note; there is life in the Old dog yet
(Navy seals me Bollix, I’m flying a desk every day out here in Tuas and these guys are special ops me Hole, one of them tried to pass me on the long run “in your Fouckin Dreams kid)
Mystery Whip Armless
(Oh Jasus Wept he's speaking in German riddles again and the whole hash is afraid of, except the Fighting Irish)
§ This is what I heard him say verbatim, Take it up the Ass Father and son Eurasians, one met another met that’s how it all began, the French like Food and boring sex, so the French beat England at Rugby so they are great, all the English in the Circle give them a down down, “Swing low” The German make great cars but someone punctured mine, Boo on in, not a fish a funny fish, Run 1128 two weeks ago (Ok that’s it now I just hope you read this circle report!!!)
MMW Zipp: (sorry about this Zip but the maid washed me Pants and yes so right they had the Circle notes in the Fouckin Phoca, so all that’s left is one big smudge of a report, here goes)
§ He is picking gray hairs out of his wife’s head. This lady is so important, on in Big Problem and No Problem. Chinese man has taught me (Zip) how to Cum in Chinese.
AOB:
§ On in Bubble Boy On in Sex Pit & Big Problem, he was E-mailing Sex Pot (Sex Pit ya Fouckin Gowl) and Big Problem about Hash directions, and they fell all over themselves trying to get the Navy boys here. They each get a Kitty Hawk hat for their efforts.
§ On in Not Tonight. Has the hash noticed that she has been quiet for the last month? (she never fully recovered from me finding her diary and letting the Cat out of the bag about the Viagra and Stiffy, now I know that you got real sore “Down There” and had to stop Cuming to the hash and all that. Anyway I bet her in the newsletter that she couldn’t stay out of the Circle for one month) On in Phone sex and pay the lady what I owe her, so its her sub for the quarter and here is the Cheque well done Not Tonight. Give Phone Sex a note.
(German chorus: shutup, shutup, shutup, shutup…)
Cork Dictionary:
Doubler: Two in Wan
Two in Wan: Doubler
Yer wan: Beoir
Beoir: Female
Me clock: Me Head, Me Face, Me Hair
In Yonks; Ages & Ages
Mentallers; Crazy Bitch
Lee Rd: Madhouse in Cork by the Lee river
The Big White Beoir: Ye must remember her and all the goings on later She’s the wan who came to the Hash in her designer gear. Long white linen pants and blouse with a big chest up on her, she ended up with a big brown hole after taking a tumble down the hill at Turf city.
Hoover: Something to do with the Irish and their Drinking habits, usually seen at its worst when the big Palooka is out of town and the watering hole (beer wagon) is easy pickings for the Stealthy Irish pack
The Gaff: back to Base or home
Savage: In this context it means brighter than Sirius
Clock: In this context it means the top of the head. The Crown mainly was where the light was emanating from
Ya Muppet: Ya Fouckin Eejit
Eejit: Fool (normally its is mainly associated with a big thick stupid Paddy)
Stab city: yes it’s the same place that Impossible hails from Limerick in Ireland, there is someone Murdered there every other day of the week, it has been Twinned with Baghdad recently
Dyson special: That’s the one without the Fouckin Bag (Bladder) so he can Hoover beer all night and never go to The Jacks
“The Jacks”: Toilet usually means the Urinal and not the Dump box
Fouckin Taking the Piss: A bit like what “I am a village idiot” did to me recently, she Pissed down Me Neck and told me it was raining in making me lay two runs for her. Making a fool of someone
Fouckin Lasher: Drop down Gorgeous Beoir
Beoir: Very good looking woman.
Lampin Her: Feins Looking at good-looking women
Stop traffic: No not a lollipop lady ya Fouckin Eejit. Normally associated with good looking women who when they walk down the street make guys rear end each other because they are too busy Lampin her.
A Langer load of ‘em: Actually 19
Just the Ticket: Perfect
Irish Jig around the Garden; Happy as a pig in shit
Mental: Because he is from Stab city anything mental he can relate to, so he loved it
Turns sideways and he’s marked absent: A Built up Streaky rasher, a bag of bones
Up Her hole: No not what you think, a hand on her ass
Irish Built the Fouckin Gaff: Irish navvies in The States did all the building work with Pick and Spade and a strong back
Run the Fouckin Gaff: In charge of running the Country a bit like Up there and down there for dancing
Me Bollix: No way
Me Hole; No way
Lamps: not to be confused with he lamped her; it just means she saw him
He bate the Berd off her: He beat her in the race in this instance, but usually its used in the context of “Doing her Good”
Me Fouckin Phoca; it means my Pocket, now rarely used, only in the context of if you leave money in there and the Mentallers of a maid washer the pants, which happens to me on a regular basis.
Ya Fouckin Gowl: ya Fouckin Eejit
Down there: Her Box
Fouckin Latchicoos; Eejits
Shitless of ‘em: Scared to death
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