Run No. 1097
When: 5 September 2003
Where: S.E.A. Village, Sentosa
Occasion: ‘The Carlsberg Sentosa Run’ or otherwise known as ‘Old Farts Day’
Hares: ‘Hooray’ and ‘Tarnished Image’
Hare Whips: ‘Hooray’
Mystery Whip: ’G String’
Mystery Mystery Whip: ‘Dirty Hacker’
Total Guests: 9
Visitors: 9 +
On-On: S.E.A. Village
Next Week’s Hare: ‘Dirty Hacker’, ‘Armless’, ‘No Problem’, ‘Amy’, ‘Phone Sex’, ‘BC’, ‘Bloodshit’, ‘Barbarian’
In the pleasant and balmy evening on Sentosa Island, the Carlsberg Sentosa Run was kicked off which took runners to many parts of the island they had never been to before. Some of them on the trial and some off the trail. The consensus was that someone should take up a collection and get ‘Hooray’ a distance measuring device for he seems to always have the longest runs. And, who knows, maybe we need these once and a while.
But since this run was planned with a backdrop as nice as Sentosa with its nice beaches and manicured gardens, this is overlooked. Some of the run took us through dinosaur exhibits, a lovely beach area and we were also entertained by a snake charmer. The hares did a good job of including a good scenic tour.
Yet, shortcutting was at it height. Some not only shortcutted, but also took public transport.
Then came the difficult job of voting about the run. Now keep in mind that the GM has a hard job of managing the vote. He is very aware that he has two violently opposed groups that he needs to please in order to maintain his power base. These two factions include the ‘macho masochists’ and the ‘elite aesthetics’. Those of the ‘masochists’ believe that true hashing consists of running through three foot streams, lacerating your body on thorns and barbed wire and running long distances that seem to challenge even the hardiest of marathon runners. While the ‘elite aesthetics’ are those who feel hashing should be a gentile endeavour in nice scenery with some workout but not too much. It is well know that the latter group consist of a lot of old more conservative hashers who enjoy lots of partying while the former is more of the ‘young bucks’. So when the hash vote was called the GM must consider how to handle the mob hysteria of votes and to sum it up so that all can be appeased and mostly to avoid any kind of violent clashes. After many seconds of calling, the GM declared this a ‘Good Run’.
Now all sports events like to have themes in which they can draw in a crowd such as, ‘Veterans Day’ or ‘Mothers Day’. For us it was ‘Old Farts Day’ which was demonstrated by the first award presented to the “Grand Old Fart’ of the Lion City Hash, ‘Dirty Hacker’ for his 500th run. For her 200th run ‘Down Under’ was also presented her award and we all wish them many more on ons to come.
The Hare Whip was ‘Hooray’ who called out his co-hare ‘Tarnished Image’ who he gave a down-down for her commenting to him that he was laying a real ball-breaker of a course.
His second charge was to those shortcutters who have the audacity to winge about the trail they didn’t complete in the first place.
Next the Mystery Whip came forward in the form of ‘G- String’. She first set the stage by mentioning the several wedding parties we had seen getting there wedding pictures taken in the Sentosa park area. She said that she dreams about having a wedding like this and because her partner, ‘Machine’ was not present, she wanted to choose a younger more spirited guy with which to get her wedding photos. So since Brad Pitt was not available, ‘Impossible’ was chosen by her as a substitute and he was given a down-down.
Continuing on with the secondary theme of the ‘Old Farts Hash’, the MW then called out ‘Bully’ who she noticed had been running a scam on the hash trail. She witnessed where a younger Harriette had come by him, he put on an act that he is overly fatigued and she had immediately offer her help by taking him by the hand to assist him through the rough trails. His response of a big smile and a feeling of accomplishment was well-noted.
The Mystery Mystery Whip was no other than the ‘Grand Old Fart’ himself, ‘Dirty Hacker’. His first charge was the Grand-Mistress for her running the hash without a hash tee shirt. Her comment was that she liked to wear ‘outfits that were tight on top’. She was given a down down on behalf of all those men who love to see a good cleavage once in a while.
His next victims were ‘Wonton’, Molly, Pooh and ‘Mouthful’ who were given a down down for their conspiring of not only shortcutting but for taking the monorail back to the end point. For this, the attempted a hash naming which was not successful. It started at the suggested name of ‘Molly Rail’ and went on to ‘Mono Molly’ and even ‘Derail’ but none of these were ‘horrific’ enough or embarrassing enough for it to be accepted by the mob.
At the call of ‘Any Other Business’ Molly then called her husband, ‘Bully’ to step forward, to answer the riddle as to “why wives live longer than their husbands?” The answer is that wives don’t have to live with wives, so that’s why they wives live longer.
Continuing with AOB, ‘Pubic Zip’ called out her husband ‘Pubic Hair’ for knowing she was scared of snakes, he showed her a snake charmer while they were hashing with a huge python around his neck.
‘Stiffy’ reminded all of the 1100th run for LCHH on the 20th of September which is listed at the front of this newsletter.
Johan was identified as a spy for the Monday night hash immediately taken out and shot, but not before he was given a down down.
‘Mother Mary’ also reminded us of the Charity Run for the Kampong Hash on 13 September, also described at the beginning of this newsletter.
Finally, there was a poignant moment when the Grand Master admitted that he was “losing his sole on this hash run.” This, he explained, was because of his wife packing the wrong shoes.
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