Run No. 1085
When: 13 June 2003
Where: Dempsey Road Bus Park
Occasion: ‘Try Not to step in ‘Chickshit’/’Quicksand Run’
Hares: ‘Quicksand’ and ‘Chicken Shit’
Mystery Whip: ‘Speedy Tits’
Mystery Mystery Whip: ‘Slocum’
Virgins: 2 + 2 (too shy to speak) Jan, Freddie Kruger, Denise and Lina
Visitors: 4 – ‘Dyke Queen’ (from Beijing hash), ‘Skidmark’, ‘Goes Both Ways’, Tim and ‘Degenital’ (all from the Bike hash)
Returnees: 2 ‘Pandora’s Box’ and ‘King Lear’
On-On: Sammy’s Curry House
Next Week’s Hare: ‘No Problem’, ‘Sex Pit’, ‘Nit Wit’, ‘Bushy’, 'Not Tonight'
The night was a constant flow of special announcements, congratulations and one coming out of the closet. It started with the hares being given a standing ovation for the hash run, of course we were already standing, anyway. This was followed by the siamese twin Hare Whip act of ‘Chicken Shit‘ and ‘Quicksand’, in which they were proud to announce that their run was successful at keeping even ‘Boo’ from short cutting. Since ‘Boo’ was not available a look alike was called out in the person of ‘Skidmark’, which after a few beers you can probably see the resemblance. The HWs also called out ‘Strapless’ and ‘Dogshit’ for other run violations.
A whole raft of team names were almost made, with the Mystery Whip in the person of ‘Speedy Tits’ calling out ‘Stash’, ‘Skidmark’ for whinging on the hash run. (For the Yanks whinging is a British term that means to whine). These two almost received the team name of ‘Grumpy Old Men’. The Grand Mistress was called out on a similar violation, while ‘Phone Sex’ and ‘Harvey Wallbanger’ were suggested for the team name of ‘Dumb and Dumber’. No ‘Phone Sex’ 3 lefts don’t make a circle.
In addition the Grand Mistress presented milestone award tee shirts to ‘Speedy Tits’ for 50 runs, ‘Stash’ and ‘Ad Nauseum’ both for 350 runs. On On guys!
Later ‘Ad Nauseum’ was almost suggested for a new hash name as ‘Mr. Magoo’ for ‘Lost and Found’ made a charge about him stopping to ask little old ladies if they’ve seen a running group nearby. Meanwhile, it was obvious to see the group was just a bit ahead. It was rumored that it actually a turn on for ‘Ad Nauseum’ to talk to little old lady’s on the street.
In addition, ‘Astronut’ almost received the name of ‘Bus Police’ as Harvey Wallbanger’ called him out for his outstanding attempts to manage the buses in the lot during the circle.
The Mystery Mystery Whip came forth in the personage of ‘Slocum’ and he laid charges on ‘Stiff’ for giving advice on ‘Life after Marriage’. ‘Slocum’ tried to kick him but his ball and chain got in the way.
‘Impossible’and ‘Phone Sex’ were his next victims, both on complaining about T checks. “Shit Fit’ and ‘Nit Wit’ were called out for charges which were not too well understood by the writer since he was too busy doing the down down. I think it had to do with being outstanding hashers, but that has not been confirmed.
‘Poser’ then announced the forthcoming Quadrapartite run. She received a rousing response when she announced the $70 for a single paid for all services. Many of the guys were anxious about the services to which she was referring. Word has it that ‘Bushy’ has the inside scoop on the hanky panky services, and she will readily chew your ear off about them.
‘Barbarian’ then announced the Red Dress Run on Sunday, 29 June. He has been spending weeks shopping with Bushy and he’s bought the cutest little strapless which will be the height of the evening.
Finally, it was announced that ‘Dickless’ is coming out of the closet. It was obvious he was out, as he entered the circle in his black muscle shirt. The story was told by ‘Shitfit’ about how he had tried to lead several of his compatriots astray, by taking them to a gay bar. It seems they ignored him for getting drinks until he took off his shirt and flexed some muscles. And yes, later on into the evening ‘Dickless’ entertained the hash group, in only the way he can entertain, with totally outrageous songs about that same subject. By the end of the evening, several were looking for a closet with a heavy padlock, in which to put him back.
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