Run No.            1062

When                10 January 2003

Where               Toh Tuck Terrace Park (The only one!)

Hares                Phoney Dick and SlackArse

Occasion          Phoney’s Birthday

Members           46 (3 new)

Virgins              1

Visitors             4

Circle Report (Less “out there” this week for Stash)

The run must have been a real ball breaker, most of the FRB’s disappeared moments after they finished between 7:00-7:30, a couple hashers even decided to stray out extra long and were seen on in around 7:50. More on them later.  Vibrator was the first violator of the circle which was called to order by ChasTITy Belt.  He was charged with reckless bag-abandonment when it became apparent that the unclaimed bag in the circle was his.

The hares were called in and given a thumbs up! It was long and hard, just like the masochistic mob likes it. The on-on was announced across the way at that hawker restaurant that can’t be named…why?  Cuz don’t know the name of it.

PhoneyDick had a bone to pick with the mismanagement committee; he was asked to set the run, then not to set the run, then to set the run, then not to set the run, then? You guessed it, to set the run, that many time during the past week.  NiceBagless was also asked to do the same…confusion? A bit. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield. How many hares set runs this week?  Not sure.  Down-downs were suffered by GM and HS.

WhiteChinaMan is the hare next week.  The run location?  He didn’t really say, he was looking for haircut at the start of the run, he even mentioned that there was some other Toh Tuck Terrace Park that HareCut must have gone to.  Hmmm, I checked the map, didn’t see any other, however, I did see HareCut drive right past the runsite at about 6:15 looking bewildered!  He never did show up that night.

MW: Stiff was the 1^st whip of the night.  He wasted no time hauling fellow fat bas^#!ds; RooningShit, Barbarian and Boo(?) on in for heaping abuse on poor Stiff because he put a few holiday pounds on.  Stiff said “Before you abuse me, take a look at yourself..”. Then he got Machine and Bushy (Strapless) for again, accusing him of not calling on and so increasing the stress on the two hashers looking for trail.  Stiff came back with, “Deaf Bast#%*s” and here’s a down down too.  He then got the hares for literally scaring the crap out him at a railway bridge crossing.  The rail for the railway was merely a prop on the run hanging on by a scrap of old hash paper to the tracks.  Stiff grabbed it for support, it gave way like a 2 dollar hussy, Stiff was nearly rendered flat on the hard road below. Down-downs to the cleverly hazardous hares.

ChasTITy Belt called Slocum and Stiffy on in to answer for their late showing on in from the run, and for holding hands? No, they weren’t holding hands, but one would wonder where exactly they went for that last 30 minutes with the run being so well marked and within friendly territory.  He gave them a cold refreshing down down in case they needed one. A Quadriplegic announcement was made, it’s next weekend I think.  Bring your runners and your bike, should be great fun.

Young Lynette was then called in for about the 8^th time. “Let’s take it easy on her” said GM, then he got Vibrator or was it CumsInTurd’s young son to help her with her down down.  GM is right, we really do need to limit the abuse untoward new members and visitors or they may never return…it’s happened!  The ladies were rowdy that night, changing lyrics to ancient hash songs and abusing the men folk accordingly.  I think they were doing this just because they could.

MMW: Astronut was on in, seems he remembered some charges forgotten the week before.  First he lamented the state of this here club.  It was going along nicely these past years, a drink club with a run problem, but wait! Tonight a Harriet was thinking rule concentrically assuming that the Wednesday, “ Harriet’s (wymin) in front rule” must therefore conclude a similar rule for the Friday run, with a “man first rule”.  Boy did she have a lot to learn!  There’s almost no rules on the Friday hash…except don’t run across the expressways. And maybe another, but nothing that serious.  An interesting note is that this expressway rule is actually very ancient and it came about back when our ancestor hashers used to live in the trees, like apes, until finally they got the nerve to head out onto the plains, where some were probably hit by cars.

Then he got the guy that was so serious about the running part, he ran to the runsite, then after the run, he was seen running home from the runsite.  It was AdNauseum, and he was nowhere to be seen as per charge.  It was a night of look-a-like chargees and I can’t remember who got that down down for AdNauseum…doesn’t matter anyway, all hashers look alike.  A final charge was reserved for GString and/or Machine, whichever was driving to the runsite.  They kept attempting to slow down, on the turn indicator, then not turn because there was no road to turn right onto from Jln. Jurong Kacil.  Much golden refreshment was distributed and consumed.

Slocum finally had a 100 runs that night which was announced by IronCrotch and finalized by SpeedyTits.  His pewter glowed in the evening sky like the North Star…Well not really, it just sorta sat there in his trembling hand until the time came to drink it’s contents down which he did with deliberation.

It was then noted that many other birthday and anniversary were by chance occurring this very day.  MotherMary had one, Wonton & Stash had another, then WankyPoo reminded ChasTITyBelt that they too had an anniversary that very day.   I don’t expect CB will have a present waiting back home but you never know!

AOB: SloCum had a story to share to account for Stiffy and his lost time.  Seems the local constabulary were again badgering poor hashers on trail.  The uniformed man called Stiffy on over to where he stopped his patrol vehicle to which Stiffy replied” No, you come over here”.  This went back and forth several times with finally a reluctant Stiffy giving up and approaching the clueless guard who accused Stiffy of trespassing to which Stiffy responded, “I am not, the trailis here!”  The guard said “It’s not!”,  Stiffy said, “It is!”  I think the keystone cop finally got scared because he sped away on his bicycle claiming he was going to get the police.  Stiffy then told SloCum he could come out from his hiding place in the nearby bushes and continue the run.   That was his story and he was sticking to it.

That was about it aside from Lynette getting another down down.

On On

Big Hammer

P.S. Higher beings from outer space may not want to tell us the secrets of life, because we're not ready. But maybe they'll change their tune after a little torture.

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