Run No.            1058

When                13 December 2002

Where               8 Mount Sinai Rise

Hares                Gecko, Amy and Slip-Inside (Betty)

Occasion          The Flour vs. Rain Run

Members          

Virgins              1

Visitors, Returnees 3 

Circle Report from Bob’s Bar

As ChasTity Belt put it, this was the “F*** it, rain has washed away half the flour” run. Gecko worked as a-live-hare-in-the -wake, giving the front runners verbal clues to checks and trail.  Not that all runners took notice – some were given the advice to take a bus back to Holland Road when, on their way to Pasir Panjang, they asked for directions. Vote was ‘Good Run under the circumstances’.

Next weeks hares were arguing about who should get into the circle, Minihumper won the contest by observing that although Suzee Wong was the sexier of the two she was smoking, thus automatically disqualifying herself.

Mark the Virgin was exhibited as the one Loose Change had held hands with during the run, the handling didn’t stop at that, he had, with his manly hands hauled her up a hefty h’obstacle. Visitors Ray, Margaret and returnee Deep Throat were Downed Downed. (Well I’ve heard the word ‘dialogued’ on BBC so why not?)

Then it was the Marathon runners to be Downed; full, halves and 6ths. A ‘whole bunch’ will have to suffice as I’m not sure I wrote everyone’s name down.

Loose Change next pulled in the man with the Big, Fast Receptacle (or was it Vessel) and his crew of semen: Gecko, Betty, Quicksand and Amy I think it was. With the help of six-packs of beer and fore winds they had won their class!

M.W. The Original Bagless had to punish Mano for unrelenting verbosity before he could proceed with the charges: In again for the virgin Manly Hands who was asked who had introduced him to hashing. Non other than his colleague Tit Mouse who, having done the recruiting, decided that it was raining too much for comfort and stayed at home. In again for Mano as a look alike.  Medical issues had been the subject of conversation on the last few runs: spots, sores, injections, antibiotics and amputations. But only one guy had had to fly out to seek expert help at the Oslo Centre for Tropical Infections – B.A.  He should have stuck with the administrations of the shaman G-string like the rest of us.  Another medical issue connected with the hares Gecko and Slip Inside was next. Gecko had decided that he wanted to open the hatch during the boat race. Instead of doing it the normal way he cleverly anticipated that the quickest way was to pour some cooking oil on the boards, push Slip Inside so she slipped and slid, cracking open the hatch with her head. Boat varnish for Gecko and healing oils for Slip Inside.  C.B. kept Gecko in the circle to tell him that if you’re at the helm steering a boat going at 8 knots and don’t read the nautical charts too frequently, it might just be possible to pass over a reef 3 ft below without going aground. Or it might not. Amy the navigator had to walk the plank with Gecko.

M.M.W. was a bristling Rooning Shyte, his charge had been pirated (there I go again) by C.B. and now he had to quickly work out a new one. Cat-tail punishment for C.B. and Amy, Gecko just stayed in the circle in anticipation of the next charge. It had something to do with sniffing, dogs on the hash and Pointers to using flour and/or paper to lay the trail for those with less developed olfactory senses. Hearing was used, or not, as a charge for wimmen not listening. (Wrong sex surely?) R.S. had been telling a story to Loose Change who kept interrupting him, not listening at all to what he was saying. L.C. only had to state the obvious – that men are always wrong – to get the gender charges even. Machine, the Father of all Trail layers, had to be learned to sit again. Not calling On On, especially on this run when the trail was occasionally found, was certainly worth a charge.

Astronut got to down some liquid antibiotics served in a beautiful jug for completing 300 runs.

Leaving now or not, the Grand Master was not going to loose an opportunity to have Fanny Flasher in the circle. She was given promises of more to come, specially prepared by him, anything to keep her on these shores.

The G.M. next announced that we have to register for the Quad run before the 17^th December if we want to avoid having to pay extra. Hand Job was on hand to take the orders.

To prove that he was a bona fide Virgin the Manly Mark turned Fashion Police and charged Rooning Shyte for wearing a dodgy T-shirt.  As all could see it was a properly gaudy Malacca 25^th Anniversary Run shirt. Tit Mouse – you just can’t tell these poor guys about the Hash, you have to BE THERE and give them an introduction to the do’s and don’ts of hashing. M.M. even had to ask what the term ‘On Paper’ meant (understandable for this run) but clearly more guidance will have to be given to future virgins.

By way of a charge from Not Tonight, Kiasu Lun (ALVIN!!!!!  <-----Bob made me do this!) was brought into the circle and given a drink from a jug for completing 100 runs. The charge was for stirring up passionate feelings in Stiffy by insisting on holding her hand during the run. I think I heard HDB residents mentioned as well but why that was I’m afraid got lost in the transmission across the circle.

A smouldering Stiffy took upon himself to shoulder the responsibility of winnowing the editorials from the important news usually carried by Coo Chi Coo. According to a letter written to the editor we were told that despite a ban on mailing weapons, live animals and sexual aids, the Singapore customs have been intercepting large quantities of dildos. The poor Singaporeans are being deprived of these stress reducing rubber articles just when the Christmas pressure is beginning to be felt. A suitable representative of the suffering people was found in Strapless who knew how to make use of the oral anti-depressant.

On-On,

Speedy Tits

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