Run No. 1052
When 1 November 2002
Where Seletar West Farmway 6
Hares Guy Fawkes, James I and Gun Powder plodders
Occasion Gun Powder Plot getaway
The mood was set already at the beginning of the run with candles flickering in the darkness of the tunnel under the SLE. It continued with a bonfire burning during the circle, sparklers, smoke (must be the only positive thing about the haze) and a Guy in the middle. A bit too short and stocky to be the Grand Master (where is he anyway?) and what is that sticking out of his trousers – ah only a scallywag. And we are going to burn this representation of the human body on the bonfire?! And sing and make cheer? And this is what was done to religious and political dissenters in Ol’ England?!
Mystery Hares were called in and were outed as Barbarian, Bushy, Chicken Shit and Hungry Bum. Run was voted good but maybe a tad too short. Barbarian wanted to enlighten us on one of th finer points of British Traditions which is to Burn the Bastard and then drink beer which made Kamakazi understand why there are so many British football hooligans. He also had a flash of inspiration of why a stake might be helpful when setting virgins on fire. On cue the Grand Mistress called them in but why a wooden implement might be useful for the two gentlemen from England (Malcolm and Matthew) was not satisfactorly explained. Anyway, they got a DD and promised to come back for more. Visitors were Doof (it sounded like) from NZ and Argus from Brisbane.
New members were due for ablution: Sheep Shagger (from you know where), Jun-Ho Yoo and Angie who actually already is a Member and a Cunning one as well so Iron Crotch got to join them for not being able to tell the sheep from the members.
Next weeks hares were the Deepavali Bunch with spokesman Squire who promised finger licking food, songs but no burning of dolls, more and better prizes and surprises. A big bird passed overhead so I missed something about cryptic Calcutta…?
The Mystery Whip was a real mystery as I could not make sense of Susie Wong’s charge that Nice Bagless had a Jacuzzi bath on Wednesday with some ladies but they were not enough of them for him – too small … a bath?, too few …Harriets? too little …time? No matter - FRB as he is he could use a drink.
Kamikaze was constantly quipping and continued doing so whilst doing charges as MMW. He pulled in Wet Pet and Fanny Flasher with the pronouncement that he is not British – what?! – not born in the 17th century – really?! but still knows how to behave in a gentlemanly manner (take that Mr. Darcy). Whilst accompanying Wet Pet over some rough terrain she had uttered a wish to get down to it in the grass but as she was moving too slow for him he continued running instead. He found he was in time to assist Fanny Flasher over a bubbling brook (pre-treatment water). As I understand it, FF has moved into the 21st century and thus can take care of herself without any suitors fannying around her and his offers were rejected. DD to the Damsels. Moving onto a less assured target he pulled Phoney Sex in. Now PS is usually a FRB but tonight Kami had found him floundering going uphill. This could only mean two things, both remedied by the intake of liquids. A) PS had a hangover zapping him of energy or B) had succumbed to a flu causing de-hydration and de-rangement. The remedy was administered and had the intended effect as he bounced back to his position in the circle to get some more attention and massage from Sybil. The FRB’s are popular targets, which meant that Indy was next in line together with twice-named female Scandihooligan. They obviously expected the run to be longer and had continued past the beer truck and back on to the out-track again. To prevent this from happening in the future it was suggested that beer-truck should be equipped with sound (Hash songs) such as used by ice-cream vans. Kami felt that there were too many effing Brits to call in as Guy Foxes so Running Shit and Stiff were to be the reps. Kami has friends in many places and had had classified info from a source in the CIA that the Gun Powder plodders actually had been the first cell of Al Queida. They both got beer but RS was a bit disappointed by not having been thrown on the bonfire to get his chestnuts roasted.
There are laws to prevent the burning of citizens and the written word so Barbie and Bushy got punished for burning a Guy clad in a T-shirt with printed text. Barbie protested that the T-shirt was his own but that’s what they all say.
Loose Change called in the Birthday boys. She had been studying the footwear used by some of the runners and found that these two were trendsetters: Peeking Ong had deconstructed his and had been wearing odd shoes and Stiffy had chosen the Punk look with spiky flip-flops to go with his spiky hairstyle. DDs for the couturiers.
AOB was started by Slack Arse who wanted the Hares in again, this time for disorganization. His ‘She Who Must Be Obeyed’ had been called by a desperate Bushy who did not know what to do with the Guy. Obvious answer: Hide him under a Bush. The lighting of the fire had also had some problems due to Hungry Bum walking off with the lighter. Obvious solution: Don’t hide the light under a bush. The hares had furthermore tried to hide their identities and had partly succeeded thanks to some deeply hidden observational skills of Kamikaze and Stiff (not Stiffy – he’s the crippled one). Hungry Bum had been parading a torch, left empty loo-rolls in her wake but to no avail - they were left in the dark as to her function under the run.
Argus from Brisbane had three ladies to pick bones with: Wet Pet, Loose Change and Susie Wong. Now Argus is, I’ve been told, the founder of the dog hash and when extolling the virtues of running with dogs to LC, he had been asked the incredulous question “ Now why would you want to do that for?” A DD well deserved. WP had initially been a good hostess to a visiting hasher by bringing him a beer after the run. She then obviously thought he was old enough to take care of himself and had left him waiting for the second beer to be served. An undeserved DD. Miss S. Wong had tried to describe the countenance of Argus to Kamikaze and used the expression “ He’s the big, fat bastard.” Undecided DD.
Announcement 1: Rooning Shit urging us to buy tickets to the Dinner Dance as they are being snapped up by guests, only 50% bought by LCH3 members! As an inducement (or concealed threat) he furthermore announced that the top prize of the Lucky Draw was a night with himself. (You know what I mean.) Second prize a return ticket to KL on the Orient Express with the bonus that you can bring a partner of your own choice.
Announcement 2: Kamikaze had the sad news that Asia’s biggest Hasher, Charlie Chandran, had passed a way leaving three young children. The KL Hash is organizing a Charity Run for his family on 23rd November. A Hash run in Singapore will be held on 30th November to raise money for an educational fund for the children. Money will also be collected during the Dinner Dance.
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